Now welcome to our NHS,
We hope you’re not in much distress,
We have a range of cures complete,
To fix you up from head to feet.

You’re using our new smartphone app,
Works when you give the screen a tap,
But probably you knew all that,
’Cos that’s the thing you’re looking at.

Since you’ve called in you’re likely ill,
And want some guidance with a pill,
Or it may be you have a bleed,
And so more urgent help you need.

So tap the symptoms we present,
The icon will show what is meant,
And if the meaning seems precise,
Don’t hesitate to tap it twice.

In this way we will very soon,
Identify your misfortune,
And we will quickly then prescribe,
The medicine that you should imbibe.

For sure it’s bound to make you well,
Though it might take a while to tell,
But if it doesn’t just ring back,
And then you can talk to a quack.

If he can’t help you’re on your own,
But, luckily, you’ve got your phone,
So check first with the one who pays,
Then call and see what Google says.

Image – http://www.ournhsscotland.com

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