The Labour conference due to start,
This weekend could be awful smart,
With fancy clothes and fancy shoes,
And Pauline Prescott’s two hairdos.
It should be a select affair,
With most bits broadcast on the air,
But now a leaflet has been writ,
Advising staff how to acquit
Themselves correctly, do things right,
If they get involved in a fight.
Some pieces are a touch unsure,
Like how best to remain demure,
If someone whacks you on the head,
And everything just turns to red.
But other sections are quite firm,
Best to act like a pachyderm,
If you were just having a doze,
And get hit hard right on the nose.
In section two it changes tack,
Advises that you can hit back;
It is all right, in fact, to yell,
As long as you think it will quell,
A riot which is taking place,
And might on Labour bring disgrace.
But it advises to take care,
About the kind of clothes you wear,
A donkey jacket’s far too posh,
But you could wear a mackintosh.
A hi vis jacket’s not advised,
’Cos someone who has been chastised,
Can easily see where you are,
And come and hit you at the bar.
So come on down, enjoy the day,
This leaflet please do not mislay,
It probably is all you need,
And makes a really cracking read.
Image – http://www.theweek.co.uk
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