If you’re Lord Snooty you’ll like this,
So please take care no words to miss,
For in a school in Camden Town,
Of modest, but not great, renown,
Is something at which parents balk –
The kids must walk the uni walk.

This probably seems strange to you,
And you would not know what to do,
So let me now to you explain,
And thus to populate your brain.

The uni walk says children must,
When in the school their gait adjust,
So that they walk with both hands clasped –
I know by now you’re glad you asked –
And furthermore this clasp must be,
Behind the back of he or she.

The school says, “This is so polite,
That it will see our children right,
When they go out to start their lives,
And will make sure each of them thrives.

Out in the world they all will shine,
In ways that we could now outline,
We don’t want any child to flop,
And all of them can reach the top.”

But parents said, “This is absurd,
We disagree with every word,
And if at school a child should trip,
As like as not they’ll cut their lip.

And then you’ll be in trouble too,
The judge in court will say to you,
“This stupid rule that you enforce,
Has clearly become the source,
Of injuries we see today,
So I’m afraid you’ll have to pay.””

The school said, “Well now, damn and drat!
We hadn’t thought before of that.
Perhaps the rule should not now stay,
Because we wouldn’t like to pay.”

The school’s head teacher has now gone,
And since then been replaced by one
Called Young, expected to dispense,
A little bit more common sense.

Image – schoolstarttime.org

Find all Ebenezer Bean’s books on Amazon.

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