MARMITEGATE

marmite_-_feb_2013

It is reported that Unilever has stopped supplying groceries to Tesco because they will not agree to a 10% price increase following the fall in the exchange rate since the Brexit referendum.

So here we have in recent days,
The very latest Brexit craze:
Suppliers trying to demand,
That products which aren’t fresh or canned,
Are subject to a price increase,
Perhaps the customers to fleece.

“Why, No! No! No! No not at all!
Our backs are right against the wall!
We have to have a price increase,
Or our supplies to you will cease.

No Bertolli or Flora spread,
For you to place upon your bread,
And later on there’ll be a fight,
For the last few jars of Marmite.

You can still live on bread and jam,
’Cos we don’t make that, neither Spam,
And salads, too, you should appraise,
But then you’ve got no mayonnaise.

And if you do want something hot,
Forget about the Noodle Pot,
For it’s no longer on the shelf,
So can’t be bought now by yourself.

But on the bright side you should look,
Because there is not much to cook,
You’ll find you’ve got no washing up –
No plates or dishes, nor a cup.

And this, at this time, you will find,
Is quite a boon for womankind,
And really lucky ’cos there’s nought,
To wash the pots that can be bought.

But now one last piece of advice:
Do not feed kids at any price,
For they invariably smell,
And always make a mess as well.

Then if you this advice ignore,
And try to wash the clothes they wore,
You’ll find no Persil, large or small –
In fact there is now none at all.

So all in all you’re in a mess,
’Cos Tesco just wants to pay less,
It’s better to be clean and fed,
So try another shop instead.”

Image – wikimedia commons

Find all Ebenezer Bean’s books on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=ebenezer+bean&rh=n%3A341677031%2Ck%3Aebenezer+bean

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