It is reported that Southern Rail has issued an advance reduced timetable owing to anticipated leaves on the line.

A Southern Rail announcer’s job,
Is not travellers off to fob,
With made-up reasons, small or great,
About why all their trains are late.

And usually there is a cause,
Though it does not get much applause,
For we have heard them all before,
And some of them are the last straw.

Quite recently they had a strike,
So some folk had to go by bike,
And now they’re starting to prepare,
For consequences of repair,
That they must do to all their track,
Which likely will produce more flak.

One job that’s easy to define,
Is cleaning leaves left on the line;
They make a sort of slippy glue,
That makes the train wheels slippy too.

So all the track must be scrubbed clean,
And since this job can be foreseen,
They have now cancelled future trains,
To numbers that they can sustain.

The travellers will now object,
But they should be more circumspect,
For since they now know in advance,
They surely have a better chance,
Of minimising all their pain,
By getting on another train.

Image – wikipedia

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