It is reported that thousands of foreigners are being treated free by the NHS which is failing to collect payments from the patients’ own governments.

The NHS is getting tough,
For taxpayers have had enough,
Of foreigners residing here,
And any time they’re feeling queer,
Into the doctor’s they just pop,
Like any other type of shop.

The difference is this one is free,
Although paid for by you and me,
So people go in night and day,
Expecting they’ll not have to pay.

In theory the NHS,
Can claim the costs, well more or less,
From foreign governments abroad,
But here the system’s somewhat flawed.

One problem is the doctors are,
All day run off their feet by far,
There are too few hours in the day,
To spend it just collecting pay.

But this problem is simply solved,
Collecting cash can be devolved,
To clerks and others who excel,
At filling in the forms as well.

And so to help them all this sort,
It’s been proposed that a passport,
Should be presented when you’re ill,
Or else you’ll not receive a pill.

Some folk complain about this point,
Their noses being out of joint,
They say some Britons who are ill,
May not have an electric bill,
Or driving licence, any sort,
Or even have their own passport.

But Mr Bean – of course that’s me –
An answer to this point can see,
For every Briton’s had since birth,
An NHS card which is worth,
It would now seem, for young or old,
It’s weight (in grams) in gleaming gold.

So doctors simply can dismiss,
The foreigners who don’t have this,
Unless their treatment they have bought,
Or they can show their own passport.

So there we are, the problem solved,
It needs the right folk all resolved,
To do some checks which are quite few,
And then collect the cash that’s due.

Image – flickr

Find all Ebenezer Bean’s books on Amazon.

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