It is reported that a Mr Derek Norman has been going round removing illegal road signs displaying distances in metric units.

As Brexit looms you’ll be surprised,
In fact you won’t believe your eyes,
To learn despite the EU’s laws,
They’ve given up as a lost cause,
The metrication of our roads,
Which feature in the Highway Codes.

Nobody really knows quite why,
But English units still apply,
To numbers displayed on our signs,
Which if ignored can lead to fines.

This means it must be yards and miles,
Units not liked by Europhiles,
And though metric our lives has shaped,
Like beer our traffic signs escaped.

The law on this is quite clear cut,
And most signs are complying but,
A few councils have lost the plot,
And with this are complying not.

So up jumps Derek Norman who,
Can find no better thing to do,
Than drive around at dead of night,
And sometimes in the broad daylight,
Inspecting signs with beady eye,
And taking ones that don’t comply.

He undoes with his monkey wrench,
Those signs with units like the French,
Then tells the local councils where,
He’s put them so they are aware.

Because these signs the law do break,
It’s all right for him them to take,
Provided that he gives them back,
To owners who’ll then not them lack.

The moral to this little tale,
For those that like, in pints, their ale,
And want to make protests galore,
Is find the loopholes in the law.

Image – Geograph

Find all Ebenezer Bean’s books on Amazon.

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