It is reported that with global warming the UK climate is getting warm enough to support vineyards in many areas of the country.

The British drink a lot of wine,
And some of it is rather fine,
It mostly comes in from abroad,
At prices that we can afford.

For Britain’s weather is no good,
And vineyards don’t grow as they should;
They have to grow in warmer climes,
Where we go drinking gin and limes.

There are exceptions to this though,
And though the uptake has been slow,
Vineyards can thrive in our south-east,
Where wine is made from grapes and yeast.

Some of this wine is very good,
Wins competitions as it should,
The French think this a dreadful pain,
’Cos it can beat their own Champagne.

In fact we know Monsieur Hollande,
Who in France is so often scorned,
Has promised yet more Brexit pain,
If English wine should win again.

But climatologists now say,
The world is warming day by day,
And as it does so we will find,
That grapes of almost any kind,
Will grow throughout the British Isles,
And still might beat the French by miles.

So if you have some land to spare,
Grow grapes out in the open air;
Collect the juice, ferment the wine,
And if the stuff is really fine,
Once that the wine is well-matured,
You’re farming future is secured.

The French, of course, will still complain,
But their wine’s not bad in the main,
So if a glass should make you honk,
It’s probably some other plonk.

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