It is reported that too many pets are drinking leftover alcoholic drinks that have been left lying around during the Christmas festivities.

“It’s Christmas soon, we should prepare,
Do you remember it last year?
They had a party I recall,
Which turned a bit into a brawl.

With frisky mum and drunken dad,
I think the sober ones were glad,
When Uncle Joe could stand no more,
And fell asleep there on the floor.

From this most others took their cue,
And after going to the loo,
The rest then went upstairs to bed,
Or left to walk back home instead.

The people gone, apart from Joe,
Time now for us to have a go,
And first of all we were in luck,
With soaking carpet there to suck.

For Aunty Jane had spilled her gin,
And as it started soaking in,
I could suck most right out with ease,
And better than that stuff Febreze.

And then while I was doing that,
You tried, although you are a cat,
That glass of wine left by the sink,
That somebody forgot to drink.

You said it wasn’t very nice,
And wouldn’t want to drink it twice,
But then it didn’t make you sick,
And all you said back then was, ‘Hic’.

There were a few more drinks to go,
But we were getting drunk and so,
We’d had enough we had surmised,
And don’t want to be breathalysed.

This year it should be much the same,
And so it should still be our aim,
To wait ’til guests have done a bunk,
And then to get just slightly drunk.

But I wish they would up their game,
Not get drinks which are all the same,
And if their budget will it stand,
Not just the supermarket brand!”

Image – flickr

Find all Ebenezer Bean’s books on Amazon.

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