It is reported that some pubs, clubs and bars are barring festive woolly jumpers because they indicate that their contents may become drunk, loud-mouthed and boisterous.

If you go down the pub today,
Don’t be surprised if they should say,
You can’t go in and must stay out,
Because they think you are a lout.

They will not serve you any booze,
Though as to why there may be clues,
If at your person they should stare,
And ’specially at what you wear.

For Christmas jumpers aren’t allowed,
They indicate you might talk loud,
And upset other people there,
Who haven’t got such things to wear.

Some folk have said all this is mean,
More like a communist regime,
But most say it’s a landlord’s right,
To keep the riff-raff out at night.

So let your watchword be, ‘Take care’,
When you go drinking anywhere,
It’s better to be drunk than not,
So check your clothes then drink a lot!*

* This in in no way intended to encourage intemperate drinking.

Image – wikipedia

Find all Ebenezer Bean’s books on Amazon.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s