It is reported that Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson tries to give his security guards the slip when he goes jogging.

Now Boris is a funny man,
He goes out jogging when he can,
And as the head of the F.O.,
He has to have a guard in tow.

The guard is there in case he should,
Be seen by one up to no good,
Who might attack the Foreign Sec.,
And bump him off or break his neck.

But Boris is not one for rules,
He didn’t stick to them at schools,
He likes to creep out late at night,
Accompanied by a flashlight,
So he won’t go arse over tip,
And still can give his guards the slip.

The guards, though, surely are not fools,
He must, they insist, stick to rules,
And if he goes out in the park,
He shouldn’t do it when it’s dark.

For in the dark are ghouls and spooks –
You’ve read about such things in books –
And if they should be out that day,
They might just spirit him away.

Then minders would have to explain,
Where he had gone which is a pain,
And this would be quite hard to do,
Because they wouldn’t have a clue.

Imagine, then, how it would look,
If later an MI5 spook,
Saw somewhere either near or far,
An unkempt, blond Count Dracula.

Now we all know what vampires do,
And MI5 might know this too,
So they will then do what it takes,
To keep Theresa off the stakes!

Image – Flickr

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