It is reported that the governing bodies of the game of golf are proposing to change the rules so that good golfers don’t get stuck behind their less expert brethren.
The game of golf is very slow,
And if you play it then you’ll know,
How irritating it can be,
To get stuck behind he or she,
Who acts as if they didn’t play,
Their first round until yesterday.
They take an age to take their shot,
Is it a good one? It is not!
The ball goes spinning off the side,
Because they hit the damn thing wide.
Then when it ends up in the rough,
Just finding it can be too tough,
For those who can scarce hit the ball,
And shouldn’t play the game at all.
So all in all you’ve spent your day,
Behind someone who couldn’t play,
And all of your now wasted time,
Could have been spent on ale or wine.
So to address this crucial point,
So noses are less out of joint,
It is proposed to change some rules,
To deal with all these silly fools.
They’ll have less time to take their shot,
And if their aim is not so hot,
When they get to a certain score,
According to this new by-law,
They’ll take their ball and end their turn,
Which might encourage them to learn.
And also when their shot they fluff,
And once again land in the rough,
The time allowed to find their ball,
Is really not that much at all;
Three minutes is all they will get,
A time that’s not been tested yet.
And there are more new rules in store,
For those who might, or not, shout ‘Fore!’
And so less need for language coarse,
To speed them swiftly through the course.
So if you’re no good at the game,
And playing with someone the same,
Spiked shoes are not the ones to choose –
You’re better off in running shoes!
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