United Airlines snake

It is reported that a passenger was roughly ejected from a United Airlines flight which had been overbooked.

“Excuse me gents and ladies too,
I have got some bad news for you,
This plane all regulations meets,
But has been made with too few seats.

We are four short which is a shame,
And it’s the maker that’s to blame,
So now as you perhaps suspect,
We’ll have to four of you eject.

But do not get alarmed just yet,
Since this is not an Air Force jet,
Ejector seats are not in use,
From which you should by now deduce,
That we eject folk through the door,
While the plane’s standing on the floor.

So we would like some volunteers,
Most anyone including queers,
Who’ll get some cash and also stay,
Then take a flight another day.

No volunteers this afternoon?
That’s gone down like a lead balloon,
So the computer will predict,
Which of you we must now evict.

We will then reach out to all four,
Direct you to the entrance door,
But if you think you can refuse,
On that point we must disabuse,
And if you try to make a fuss,
We’ll quickly put you in a truss.

Once tied you will be bundled out,
And you’ll be gagged, no need to shout,
It will come off, you’ll be OK,
And we will soon be on our way.

Then as for you, you’ll stay the night,
Tomorrow take a later flight,
We hope our service satisfies –
Thanks for flying the Friendly Skies.”

Image – Bloomberg


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