ST SASSENACH’S DAY? I DON’T THINK SO!

St George

It is reported that the Labour Party will offer four new bank holidays in its election manifesto to be held each year on St George’s, St Andrew’s, St David’s and St Patrick’s days.

The Labour Party’s just announced,
That so that it will not be trounced,
By voters on the eighth of June,
Thereafter it will very soon,
Make four new public holidays,
When folk can stay in bed and laze*.

They say there will not be much cost,
Because though earnings will be lost,
It doesn’t matter in the end,
’Cos people will go out and spend.

As an aside I am not sure,
Since pounds around will be some fewer,
Where spending money will come from,
So this could be a ticking bomb.

But anyway, we mustn’t spoil,
The extra days for those who toil,
And they’ll be held on days of saints,
Though this may lead to some complaints.

For atheists (J Corbyn too?),
May not accept the people who,
Are patron saints in this fair land,
And would like all saints to be canned.

There’s Andrew, Patrick, George and Dave,
One mythical, the others brave,
But what J Corbyn failed to say,
Is any new bank holiday,
Must be approved by those devolved,
Which means they must all be resolved,
To celebrate the patron’s day,
Of other parts of the UK.

This pointed out, you will now see,
A likely problem, same as me,
For asking Mrs Sturgeon to,
For one day ditch her white on blue,
And sing and dance on George’s day,
The same as her mate Mrs May,
Is quite a Herculean task,
And probably too much to ask.

There’s no solution I am sure,
That really would work and endure,
But one thing that might ease the pain,
Is if the Scots might something gain,
Such as free drinks in Glasgow’s bars,
Plus time to heal inflicted scars.

There is a problem, though, but slight,
To give the Scots free drinks just might,
The calmness of the day disrupt,
And possibly leave us bankrupt!

* v. to be lazy.

Image – Wikimedia commons

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