SPLAT!

Seagull

It is reported that East Devon District Council has made it an offence to feed the seagulls.

“Excuse me, may I have a word?
The seagull is a nasty bird,
It flaps its wings and flies right in,
And it can make an awful din.

Its screech can give a dreadful fright,
And also keep you up at night,
But while it might give you a fit,
The noise is not the half of it.

Much worse than noise there is the food,
And here it is extremely rude,
For it’s plain when it was a chick,
Learning to eat and not be sick,
The fish that mum or dad had caught,
No table manners have been taught.

So when gulls see you on the beach,
With food that’s not quite out of reach,
They’ll likely swoop towards you and,
Take all the lot straight from your hand.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve got,
Fish, chips or bread they’ll take the lot,
And then you’ll find they’re in a team,
When one comes back for your ice cream.

If you think now they’ll go away,
You’ll find they all still want to stay,
And they will fly round close to you,
At least until they’ve done a poo.

Of them we now want to be rid,
So you will get fined fifty quid,
If we have evidence or hunch,
That one of them has had your lunch.

So let your watchword be ‘Take care’,
When you see these birds in the air,
You don’t want to lose all your wealth,
So better eat your lunch yourself.

And if you do hear one go Splat!
You really should have brought a hat!”

Image – loki11 / Wikimedia Commons / anr

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