MANDARINS AT FIFTY PACES

santa-clausJuncker

It is reported that Jean Claude Juncker, speaking in French, has given a speech in Italy claiming that the English language is in decline. Strangely, a man dressed as Father Christmas was standing just behind him.

That Jean Claude Juncker is a pain,
And now he’s in the news again,
Proclaiming between sips of wine,
That English is in slow decline.

He must have wanted to impress,
As someone wearing fancy dress,
Stood just behind him as he spoke,
Clad top to toe in Santa’s cloak.

The reason for this wasn’t clear,
But maybe he spoke in his ear,
To tell him what he ought to say,
To irritate our Mrs May.

But anyway I do digress,
Distracted by the Christmas dress,
So back now to the point in hand,
Which does seem hard to understand.

He said that he in French would speak,
To people there including Greek,
So if that’s wise we’ll have to see –
He was in fact in Italy.

His speech seemed inclined to annoy,
Just like a naughty little boy,
Who having talked to Mrs May,
Found that he couldn’t get his way.

But back to language, he should know,
The earth’s most popular lingo,
Is Mandarin which Chinese speak,
So maybe he’ll insist next week,
That Brexit talks which will be long,
Must be held in the Chinese tongue.

This odd suggestion from a clown,
Might possibly just slow things down,
And if proposed to Mrs May,
Is likely to be blown away.

But first she’ll seek FO advice,
Like whether it means eating rice,
Or whether talks in Mandarin,
Might be more difficult to spin.

But in all this my greatest fear,
Is their advice might not be clear,
And in reply to Mrs May,
They might well get confused and say:
“We really don’t know what you mean,
This is a type of tangerine!”

Image – European People’s Party / Flickr & anr

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