FATSOES

South Western Ambulance VX09FYP

It is reported that the NHS has been reinforcing its ambulances to be able to accommodate overweight patients of up to seventy stone.

The NHS is under strain,
As it spends time in curing pain,
And something that has come to light,
Is one problem that’s not so slight,
And likely could now cause a spat –
Its patients are all getting fat.

So first, it’s difficult to talk,
About those who can barely walk,
For zealots all for sure will be,
Insisting everything’s PC.

But paramedics say that they,
Have difficulties every day,
Lifting these patients who are fat,
And also then their tyres go flat.

Now one solution’s been devised,
To cope with all these oversized,
Which is, pragmatically of course,
To ambulances reinforce.

They’re getting girders, bolts and beams,
Plus extra welding at the seams,
Some heavier and thicker wires,
And higher pressure in the tyres.

All this is working out just fine,
For overweights now quite benign,
And so these people all should know,
To hospital they can now go,
But even if they get the chance,
Please don’t take the air ambulance!

Image – Graham Richardson

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