TUMMY TROUBLE

Balloon water

It is reported that a slimming pill has been invented which when swallowed turns into a balloon in the stomach which is then filled with water and depresses the appetite.

“You are too fat so what we’ll do,
Is take this pill – just one, not two,
It’s guaranteed to make things right,
By cutting down your appetite.

It works because it’s a balloon –
There’s colour choice, this one’s maroon –
And when it’s blown up in your tum,
Your brain thinks that you’ve eaten some,
And though that’s not exactly right,
It will depress your appetite.

So take the pill, it goes inside,
And if next day you haven’t died,
We’ll fill it through this tube you see,
So it will then inflated be.

But there are choices to be made:
Just plain water or lemonade,
These are the cheapest, that’s not strange,
And we call them our Value Range.

Or then again you could have milk,
Or other liquids of that ilk,
And there are others not too dear,
Including lager, stout and beer.

But if you want to go for gold,
We’ve wine and Cognac that’s so old,
That no-one knew when it was made,
It would become a slimming aid.

So speak up now and make your choice,
From Value Range to full Rolls-Royce,
And if we get it at the bar,
Today you get a free cigar!”

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