BONE OF CONTENTION

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It is reported that the Speaker of the House of Commons has ruled that ties need no longer be worn in the House.

Tradition’s generally well-meant,
No more so than in Parliament,
But when it’s changed beyond some point,
It can put noses out of joint.

So it was last week one MP,
Attended Parliament and he,
Stood up to ask a question, “Why …?”
Omitting, though, to wear a tie.

He made his point, the moment passed,
But some days later someone asked,
The Speaker in a voice quite loud,
If such behaviour was allowed.

The Speaker who is five foot two,
And like as not unknown to you,
Replied off the top of his head,
And this is largely what he said:

“In former times top hats were worn,
In fact they had become he norm,
But owing to their cost and size,
They later on gave way to ties.

So ties are worn as you all know,
It matters not they’re straight or bow,
And now today I’m minded to,
Say Members may their ties eschew.

The questioner, though, Peter Bone,
Should not think that I will condone,
The wearing of jeans, shorts or slacks,
Or tee-shirts on Hon Members’ backs.

For there are limits to observe,
Traditions that we should conserve,
It’s just that as you may surmise,
I don’t think this extends to ties.

But now with his intervention,
I see it’s Peter Bone’s contention,
That though it really is my call,
There shouldn’t be a change at all.

But I’m afraid that will not wash,
Some people say we’re far too posh,
They ask if we are thick or wise,
Because we need to modernise.

And if we don’t they might rebel,
Could make all our lives complete hell,
And if they try to intervene,
It’s better that no ties be seen.”

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