It is reported that the Grana Padano Cheesemakers Consortium sent a gift of a forty pound wheel of cheese to our Prime Minister during her holiday in Italy but it’s delivery to her hotel was delayed as it was thought to be a suspicious package that might contain a bomb.
You might have heard that Mrs May,
Is on her summer holiday,
And this week which is first of three,
She’s spending time in Italy.
The makers of the local cheese,
Thought Mrs May they’d like to please,
By sending her a little gift,
A wheel of cheese – you get my drift?
The cheese arrived, it weighed a lot,
The police said it might be a plot,
So it went in another room,
In case the whole thing should go ‘Boom!’
The cheesemen said, “It is all right.
We’re sorry it gave you a fright.
For all your problems we all feel,
And that’s why we gave you this wheel.
In the EU wheel you’re a cog,
About the same as Kraut or Frog,
But after Brexit, Mrs May,
Your wheel’s then smaller than today.
So we thought that it might assist,
You or perhaps your publicist,
If after Brexit you could claim,
That life would go on much the same.
For this to be so folk must think,
Negotiators will not blink,
And the wheel in which you’re a cog,
Is big and not the underdog.
So having this enormous cheese,
Will help convince them all with ease,
That they should not get too uptight,
For everything will be all right.
And be assured the cheese is fine,
Will go down well with port or wine,
We checked it three times we confess,
So that it would not cause distress.”