MY TROUSERS ARE STEAMING!

Dore_&_Sons_trousers_press

It is reported that a recent book, written by former aides, claims that Donald Trump has a (female) aide steam-press his suit when travelling on Air Force One while he is wearing it, and he is also said to eat a lot of junk food.

You’ve heard of Donald Trump before,
With articles writ by the score,
Describing what he does and says,
At home and when out on forays.

There is some quite important stuff,
Mixed up with lots and lots of guff,
And if I wrote of it again,
You’d say I was a complete pain.

But now, today, new things emerge,
Which I would definitely urge,
You to read and to take it in,
Though it could be fake news or spin.

The first is: there’s a choice of food,
To suit the palate of this dude;
It isn’t wide, might be inane,
Includes stuff from a pizza chain,
And burgers – that’s Big Macs, you know –
Plus KFC – we’re good to go.

He likes his biscuits, also chips,
But then he says, “No buts, no ifs,
I don’t want any opened pack,
For I’m a hypochondriac.

With opened packs you never know,
Who’s poked in dirty fingers so,
They may be full of germs and will,
As like as not just make me ill,”

But p’rhaps the oddest tale to tell,
Is, since he must look smart and swell,
He has an aide steam-press his suit,
While, in his plane, he is en route.

“So what?” I think I hear you say,
“It should be pressed most every day.
’Cos he’s a most important dude,
No matter that he can be rude.”

I quite agree but in the main,
Most people take it off again,
So that it can be pressed while flat,
And not while in it one is sat.

Let’s not dwell on the reasons why,
He does this flying through the sky,
But could it explain why he’s rude?
I don’t mean ’cos of the junk food,
But while his suit is being pressed,
It might just be, you may have guessed,
That the steam-press was set too high,
And burnt a red patch on his thigh.

We all know that he is thin-skinned,
His name suggests he might have wind,
But surely, if his leg’s in pain,
He’ll come down like a hurricane!

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