It is reported that Britain’s remotest cash machine at Durness, Sutherland, north west Scotland has been closed leaving residents and tourists with a 100 mile round trip to use another. So better to get a wee bit o’ cash beforehand and stick tae it; an we’re in the reet place for that!

The Scots like money, that is true,
They stick to it, och aye tha noo,
But do they spend it? It a fact,
There’s not much evidence for that.

But even though they don’t spend much,
On tartan kilts and trews and such,
They always like most every day,
To keep a few notes tucked away.

And that’s the problem, I am sure,
The notes required were getting fewer,
And so the bank that did dispense,
Found it no longer made much sense,
To keep the cashpoint counting right,
Through every morning, noon and night.

And so along with other cuts,
No consultation, ifs or buts,
This cash machine, now little used,
Has had its last reprieve refused.

There is a moral to this verse,
Which is that things can’t get much worse,
Than when Scots can’t get notes – a few –
To show they stick to them like glue!

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