It is reported that French President Emmanuel Macron has announced in a speech in Burkina Faso that he will make French the first language of Africa and then the first language of the world. Dream on!
French presidents, you might have thought,
Have many things they really ought,
To do while they in office are,
As well as propping up the bar.
The country’s big, it must be run,
The job’s not meant to be much fun,
Especially when Brexit looms,
Creating words for Macron’s plumes.
Speaking of which, his latest ploy,
Deliberately to us annoy,
Is rubbishing the English tongue,
And say he will, before too long,
Make French the leader in its stead,
Which will help France to get ahead.
In Brexit, then, he sees his chance,
For this change might his plans enhance,
Because right after we are gone,
In the EU there’ll be no-one,
Whose formal language English is,
For talking politics and biz.
So Macron soon might make his move,
The English language to remove,
From all of Europe’s regs and rules;
But other people are not fools,
And they know it is not the case,
That French the English can displace.
For it’s so commonly in use,
With rules for grammar rather loose,
And as you can see in this verse,
The writing’s really none the worse,
For what the French would think kaput –
The words in any order put.
So Macron should take care right now,
Since he has rashly made this vow;
But, luckily, in French he spoke,
Not understood by many folk,
And though he’d think that a disgrace,
It might just help to save his face!