It is reported that teachers in France want more TV programmes and films to be shown in English, without French dubbing or subtitles, in order to improve their pupils’ ability to speak the world’s most important language. Otherwise, they say, the little frogs will be disadvantaged throughout their lives.

Protectionists in France will say,
The language of that Mrs May,
Should be stamped out and they are mean,
Now that she is the Brexit Queen.

The purity of French, they say,
Must not be soiled in any way,
And people like this are avowed,
That English words not be allowed.

But teachers in the South of France,
Say, while their kids are good at dance,
They can’t speak in the English tongue –
A problem in the run that’s long.

There is an answer they propose:
They should no longer edit those,
TV programmes and films which are,
Scripted in English blah-de-blah.

So far reaction has been good,
With with people saying that they should,
But quite what the repost will be,
From language purists – wait and see.

They will not take this lying down,
So expect more than just a frown;
They will think this is such a cheek,
And no way for the French to speak!




It is reported that a headmaster in Dagenham has forbidden pupils from touching snow so as to avoid injury.

“Now, children, while you are in school,
You must obey my latest rule,
Which is that when outside you go,
You must not touch that stuff called snow.

It’s cold and can cause intense pain,
A lot more, certainly, than rain,
For, first of all, it’s cool and white,
And so can give your hand frostbite.

Then, second, if you snowflakes weld,
Into a ball that’s then propelled,
It may catch someone on the hop,
And make a sound a bit like ‘clop!’

Recipient might not be pleased,
Though p’rhaps intended as wheeze,
And he might throw a snowball back,
Might make a different noise – a ‘thwack’.

At this point you might start to bleed,
For snowballs can be hard indeed,
And then you’ll see I was no fool,
For banning handling snow at school.

And snow is slippy under foot,
That’s why the school is sometimes shut;
You come to learn with pen and ink,
Not just ’cos there’s a skating rink!”



It is reported that Kazakhstan is to adopt a new alphabet based on Latin rather than Cyrillic characters in order to assert its independence from Russia but a third of the new characters are written with an accompanying apostrophe.

Kazakhstan is a country large,
With just one man who is in charge,
And he has said, I think I’m right,
In future when folk read and write,
They must use Latin letters which,
Can all be typed without a hitch.

There is a problem, though, but slight,
Because, when reading, one just might,
Mistakenly pronounce a sound,
And so one’s audience confound.

The answer’s plain (to me, not you):
Nine letters (out of thirty-two),
Must rather special written be –
Each one with an apostrophe.

This does pronunciation change,
So anyone in hearing range,
Will know exactly what is meant,
And hence the speaker’s full intent.

But some words have more than enough,
So writing them can be quite tough;
It’s punctuation overload,
And far worse than the old Morse code!

If you liked this please share it with your friends.

If you didn’t like it share it anyway.

If you’re not sure then share it to be on the safe side.



It is reported that English-speaking foreigners find it difficult to converse with native English-speakers owing to the use of colloquialisms which they cannot understand.

Some foreigners who English speak –
They might be Spanish, Dutch or Greek –
Do find it easy to converse,
In English prose or even verse .

But if an English man joins in,
It’s hard for Belgian, Pole or Finn,
To understand some phrases that,
The English seem to have off pat.

Some phrases are old as the hills,
Might simply be grist to the mill,
But some don’t know the phrase at all,
And it can drive them up the wall.

Some speakers may try to make out,
That they know what it’s all about,
But if they fail to understand,
They’re taking their lives in their hands.

For if the meaning isn’t clear,
Then there could be some danger near,
Which, possibly, might make you sick,
Or even p’rhaps the bucket kick.

So let your watchword be, ‘Take care’,
When you’re in conversation there,
And if there’s something you don’t get,
Then you’ll just have to take a bet!


Lego bricks building-blocks-615239_960_720

It is reported that a new study has concluded that children who have fewer toys to play with are more resourceful and creative than those who have lots.

Most children like a lot of toys,
That’s true for girls as well as boys,
And other genders I suppose,
But let’s not worry about those.

But lots of toys are not so good,
Kids don’t play with them as they should,
And a report says that, in fact,
Such kids are easy to distract.

With fewer toys kids must work hard,
Less things to use in that regard,
And their imagination is,
Improved and that’s both hers and his.

For parents this is all good news;
There’s fewer things that one can lose,
And less to stand on, less to break,
So, in the end, less earache.

But you should choose the toys with care,
Your child might say it isn’t fair,
If one’s a Hoover, though renowned,
Which she’s supposed to push around.

But please don’t go to the extreme,
Or you might hear your infant scream;
For though some toys can be a hit,
There surely must be a limit,
To what your Harry, Tom or Dick,
Can make with just one Lego brick!


French 1

It is reported that French President Emmanuel Macron has announced in a speech in Burkina Faso that he will make French the first language of Africa and then the first language of the world. Dream on!

French presidents, you might have thought,
Have many things they really ought,
To do while they in office are,
As well as propping up the bar.

The country’s big, it must be run,
The job’s not meant to be much fun,
Especially when Brexit looms,
Creating words for Macron’s plumes.

Speaking of which, his latest ploy,
Deliberately to us annoy,
Is rubbishing the English tongue,
And say he will, before too long,
Make French the leader in its stead,
Which will help France to get ahead.

In Brexit, then, he sees his chance,
For this change might his plans enhance,
Because right after we are gone,
In the EU there’ll be no-one,
Whose formal language English is,
For talking politics and biz.

So Macron soon might make his move,
The English language to remove,
From all of Europe’s regs and rules;
But other people are not fools,
And they know it is not the case,
That French the English can displace.

For it’s so commonly in use,
With rules for grammar rather loose,
And as you can see in this verse,
The writing’s really none the worse,
For what the French would think kaput –
The words in any order put.

So Macron should take care right now,
Since he has rashly made this vow;
But, luckily, in French he spoke,
Not understood by many folk,
And though he’d think that a disgrace,
It might just help to save his face!


Psychiatrist Flickr anr

It is reported that a third more children are seeing psychiatrists as their stress levels increase with mounting levels of anxiety, bullying, depression and the effects of social media.

A kiddie’s life one time was fun,
They used to go outside and run,
And, if allowed, then they would play,
There pretty much the whole damn day.

Then bullying was not so rife,
But a backhander from the wife,
While aimed towards a child’s behind,
Would never then depress the mind.

But now, it seems, all this has changed,
Our little kids are all deranged;
It doesn’t matter what you think,
More children now go see a shrink.

One reason, you have likely guessed,
Is that the blighters are depressed,
And, more than that, it seems to me,
They’re consumed by anxiety.

The culprits are not hard to spot,
Because kids now spend such a lot,
Of time on Facebook, Twitter too,
And, probably, that Tube called You.

The stress of this distorts the mind,
More so than any other kind,
Of interaction with one’s peers,
Even if one or two are queers.

So time thus spent should be reduced,
For, if so, it can be deduced,
That kids will come back from the brink,
And then they might not need a shrink!