It is reported that Prince Louis and Princess Tessy of Luxembourg (The Grand Duchy) who are divorcing, are struggling to agree the amount of the settlement. But help is at hand …
You’ll likely not have heard of these,
But my piece here is not a tease;
Do be assured, they do exist,
And on their country’s royal list.
It was eleven years ago,
Prince Louis thought that he should go,
And tie the knot with girlfriend Tess –
She had already told him: ‘Yes’.
They had met on a firing range,
Which you may think a trifle strange,
But both were in the army then,
Fighting in the war Kosovan.
But forward to the present day:
They can’t agree what he should pay,
To settle his withdrawal from,
This matrimonial union.
What she’s proposed, he has turned down,
And with talks now close to breakdown,
While she thinks what she wants is fair,
They need some help to clear the air.
Up steps the Duchy’s old PM,*
He puts his glass down, says, “Ahem.
I am an expert in this field,
Stick to your guns and do not yield.
But first, do get the figure right,
It should be large to cause a fright,
And with your marriage in a state,
Well, billions is the going rate.
At this the others may object,
But they seem fairly circumspect,
And, in the end, believe you me,
There is no doubt they will agree.
I know all this ’cos recently,
We have a member breaking free,
From all the EU’s regs and rules;
And though we’ve told them they are fools,
They simply do not get the point,
So all noses are out of joint.
So we insist that they must pay,
A settlement on Brexit day,
And though they say that they will not,
They’ll have no choice but pay the lot.
So you should take my sound advice,
This hundred billion will be nice,
And when the money is all thine,
Do please buy me a case of wine.”
* Jean-Claude Juncker of course