It is reported that a new itinerant ice cream seller in Lyme Regis is getting the backs up of the six existing frozen dessert sellers.
Lyme Regis can be rather posh,
And those who have a lot of dosh,
Might like to take a little stroll,
And buy ice cream in cone or bowl.
Along the front six people sell,
Ice cream as far as I can tell;
These traders have a licence bought,
And getting one can be quite fraught,
With charges each one has to pay,
So they can trade from day to day.
This recent upstart, when she tried,
To get a licence was denied,
So it now seems that her intent,
Is trading sans council consent.
The other six say, “It’s unfair.
We’re getting quite close to despair,
For, since she doesn’t have to pay,
She’s taking all our trade away.
She ought, therefore, to be removed,
Because her case was not approved,
And if the council is astute,
They really ought to prosecute.”
The woman says, though, “They cannot.
I sell my ice cream when it’s hot,
But from a tricycle that moves,
And in so doing surely proves,
My stall is not a fixed abode –
It’s always moving down the road.
So the certificate I need,
According to the rules agreed,
Is one for pedlars who can sell
Provided they move on as well.
I’ve one of these from the police,
Twelve twenty-five they did me fleece,
But I had no choice but to pay,
So I can sell the pedlars’ way.
And there’s an extra because I,
As well as selling on the fly,
(Which is the peddling bit in law)
When I move as I must therefore,
To find more folk who want to eat,
I have to peddle down the street!”