TOO MANY TOYS

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It is reported that a new study has concluded that children who have fewer toys to play with are more resourceful and creative than those who have lots.

Most children like a lot of toys,
That’s true for girls as well as boys,
And other genders I suppose,
But let’s not worry about those.

But lots of toys are not so good,
Kids don’t play with them as they should,
And a report says that, in fact,
Such kids are easy to distract.

With fewer toys kids must work hard,
Less things to use in that regard,
And their imagination is,
Improved and that’s both hers and his.

For parents this is all good news;
There’s fewer things that one can lose,
And less to stand on, less to break,
So, in the end, less earache.

But you should choose the toys with care,
Your child might say it isn’t fair,
If one’s a Hoover, though renowned,
Which she’s supposed to push around.

But please don’t go to the extreme,
Or you might hear your infant scream;
For though some toys can be a hit,
There surely must be a limit,
To what your Harry, Tom or Dick,
Can make with just one Lego brick!

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HAWES AND WATSON

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It is reported that a new sculpture of a shepherd in Hawes, North Yorkshire has attracted complaints because he is smoking a pipe.

A shepherd’s life is rather tough,
And sometimes when the day’s been rough,
He likes to lean upon a gate,
Of which are many situate,
All over Yorkshire’s dales and fells,
And take in all the sights and smells.

And when he does he gets his pipe –
That is one of the smoking type –
And with tobacco there alight,
He watches day progress to night,
As on the fells the sun must set,
Sometime today but not just yet.

So when a sculpture’s to be made,
Which shows the shepherd and his trade,
To have a pipe is only right,
And not a subject for a fight.

Or so it should be but some folk,
Objected to it and they spoke,
Complaining that the pipe was bad,
Because, in general, smoking had,
Been banned and so it was not wise,
Smoking like this to advertise.

The arguments raged to and fro,
But it was all nonsense and so,
It was decided anyway,
The shepherd’s pipe was there to stay.

And that comes as a great relief,
For otherwise it’s my belief,
That it could make, as I can tell,
Problems for Sherlock Holmes as well!

CHANGING OF THE GUARD

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It is reported that sailors from the Royal Navy will provide the guards outside Buckingham Palace for a while instead of the usual guardsmen.

You know the Changing of the Guard?
It’s most days in the palace yard;
The guards all wear the bearskin hat,
And so are well worth looking at.

The tourists come from far and wide,
Some thinking they can go inside,
And get a selfie if they can,
Beside a six foot tall guardsman.

They can’t, for they must stay outside,
Which means they cannot stand beside,
The guard and so the best, they’ve found,
Is have him there in the background.

But now there’s a surprise in store,
For guards, which mostly number four,
Who guard The Queen and amuse you,
Will now be dressed in navy blue.

The Royal Navy, it’s announced,
It seems might have the Army trounced,
And won the contract for a while,
To guard The Sovereign’s stately pile.

One wonders, maybe, why this is,
Could they be cheaper guarding Liz?
Or is there something else at play,
Too delicate for one to say?

Well, I surmise it could be worse,
’Cos with this global warming curse,
It is expected, is it not,
That rainfall might increase a lot,
And be more than we’ve had before,
Including on the courtyard floor.

So maybe there could be a flood,
The drains not working as they should,
And when there is the Navy will,
Then draw on its consummate skill,
And always know just what to do,
While others wouldn’t have a clue.

So this change, possibly, is shrewd,
Despite the language might be crude,
And I think I can safely say,
The Navy will have saved the day!

2P OR NOT 2P?

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It is reported that it has been proposed that the use of copper coins should come to an end.

Perhaps when you this title read,
A thought then formed inside your head,
Concerning not your hard-earned cash,
But where you might go for a slash.

And that’s quite strange because you know,
When, formerly, you had to go,
The price back then was just one pence,
So 2P doesn’t make much sense.

In fact that penny, which was old,
Were two forty per pound, I’m told,
So if you had to have a leak,
Five bob would see you through the week.

But this has little now to do,
With what I’m writing down for you,
Which is concerning coins and cash,
And if the small ones are just trash.

Some say small coins have little point,
Will not buy much in any joint,
And so they should be melted down,
And used to make some other noun.

But if so there’ll be a surprise,
For he who in the Mint then tries,
To make new coins that do look real,
For these are copper not, but steel!

I DO

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It is reported that Prince Harry is to marry American actress Meghan Markle in spring 2018.

A royal wedding is announced,
So other news has now been bounced,
And most reports on the TV,
Will be confined to he and she.

You’ll hear about when they first met,
When on each one their hearts were set,
How soon back home he did her bring,
And then, of course, there is the ring!

It has three stones fixed in a row,
Two of his mother’s, you should know,
And one still bigger than those two,
In carats it will impress you.

That’s just TV, the papers will,
Tomorrow all their pages fill,
With all the same and even more,
And stuff that has been prepped before.

So if you don’t have much to do,
You might just like to read a few,
And you will, reading more than three,
A tittle tattle expert be!

So we wish them a happy day,
They are right now, like on Milk Tray,
And to The Prince and his new wife,
We wish a long and happy life.

PEPPA PIG … AND FRIENDS?

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It is reported that parents and children waiting to see Peppa Pig at Hamley’s toy shop in Regent Street have caused a riot by pushing and shoving their way to the front.

Now Peppa Pig is liked by some,
But only people really dumb,
Would start a riot, or a fight,
Punching some that they met, on sight.

They pushed and shoved and landed out,
The whole thing something of a rout,
As they pushed their kids to the front,
A riot, in fact, not a stunt.

Some folk got mad, police were called,
There was no giving way at all,
And then, though I am loath to tell,
The ambulances came as well.

The fire brigade was called in too,
And, mostly, they arrive on cue,
But, sadly, there was none to spare,
With Fireman Sam already there!

Image – Brian Robert Marshall / Creative commons

ANY COLOUR AS LONG AS IT’S NOT BLACK

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It is reported that Frinton-on-Sea Council, Essex, is to relax its ban on beach huts being painted in bright colours.

In Frinton beach huts come in black,
And owners are on the attack,
Complaining that they are so dull,
And don’t the touring punters pull.

In other places they are gay,
Not painted in black, white or grey,
And people flock there in their droves;
So people say it now behoves,
The Frinton council to permit,
Gay painters to get on with it.

The arguments went to and fro,
With people on both sides and so,
With questions on the undercoat,
The Council put it to a vote.

And now, it seems, there is good news:
The Council’s listened to these views,
And from now on they’ve got things right:
The beach huts can be really bright,
With spots and stars and zebra stripe –
In colour, though, not black and white!