It is reported that a surgeon in St Albans has fitted a left knee joint to a patient’s right knee. The hospital said it would check more carefully in future.
A knee can be a problem joint,
And when it’s old can disappoint,
Because it gets worn out, you know,
And hurts when you’ve somewhere to go.
The pain can be so very bad,
Perhaps the worst you’ve ever had,
It affects everything you do.
Including standing in a queue.
So if you have a dodgy knee,
Go to the doctor who will see,
If metal joints might be some help,
But not ones that you fit yourself.
For fitting joints you have to ask,
A surgeon equal to the task,
For he’s an expert at this job,
And not some useless cheapskate slob.
Imagine, then, your great dismay,
When, though you have still had to pay,
And though the joint can take your weight,
You don’t seem to be walking straight.
At first this does seem rather odd,
You check with what your feet are shod,
But it seems nothing’s out of place,
In your bit of the human race.
But then somebody checks the box –
A move not so unorthodox –
And to their horror they can see,
They might have fitted the wrong knee.
They can now see the patient’s plight:
The one removed was on the right,
But that put in with actions deft,
Was one intended for the left.
So with this error what to do?
It’s not much good to change a shoe,
And if to change the joint they try,
There is a chance that he might die.
So better not to say too much –
He doesn’t seem to need a crutch –
But maybe they ought to enquire,
If one day he might p’rhaps aspire,
To jogging, skating, dancing or,
The things he couldn’t do before.
And if it’s dancing that he craves,
It really would to be very brave,
To dance for Strictly judges who,
Might give a score of less than two!
“You need to lead more from the right,
Perhaps your trousers are too tight,
Or since your circles are quite neat,
It looks like you’ve got two left feet.”
So if your knee hurts do take care,
What joint the surgeon puts in there,
And do remember that he might,
Have one left over for the right!