It is reported that various pieces of research have concluded that human beings may … or may not… be able to live to the age of 125, exceeding the current record of 122 and a bit.
You could live, if you stay alive,
To one hundred and twenty-five;
And though this statement may seem vague,
You really must avoid the plague,
And other things that may be rife,
To have a chance of longer life.
Research now done most everywhere,
Which tries to make assessment fair,
Though contradictory at best,
Concludes you can outlive the rest,
By doing certain things which might,
Work if you don’t get in a fight.
First, gender: you should female be,
Be married and same age as he;
But otherwise, if you are male,
As well as drinking wine, not ale,
Your best key to a longer life,
Is having a much younger wife.
Then, secondly, your diet can,
Make you as fit as Desperate Dan,
But to put off the day you die,
Go easy on his favourite pie.
In fact, don’t eat cow pie at all,
’Cos helpings are so seldom small,
And if you’re rather more astute,
You’ll fill yourself with veg and fruit.
And then there’s exercise at last,
The best sort’s running rather fast,
But don’t just run from bar to bar,
And don’t get run down by a car.
Then, finally, do go to church,
Because one piece of new research,
Has found a link twixt church and age,
Though why this is is hard to gauge.
It could be God there takes a look,
Decides against you as a spook,
And since He’s angels there galore,
Consigns you to a few years more.
There are more but that’s all I’ll tell,
I hope they’ll keep you feeling well,
And help you with the daily grind,
But please do not go off your mind!