NAIVE OR WHAT?

Putin cartoon

It is reported that at a joint press conference in Helsinki, Donald Trump said he believes Vladimir Putin’s claim that the Russians had no involvement in the hacking during the US presidential election, even though the US intelligence agencies have found that it did and twelve Russian GRU secret agents have recently been indicted for hacking the Democratic Party’s computers.

You get the gist, I’ll keep this short,
Or Donald Trump might well retort,
And he might try to do his worst,
On Twitter where he is well-versed.

So, in a nutshell, Trump announced,
His Secret Service would be trounced,
And GRU – the Russian State –
Instead might help investigate,
Claims of collusion if they must,
Because he really doesn’t trust,
The CIA and others who,
Have told him what the Russians do.

He has looked his friend in the eye,
Found him to be straight as a die,
And he’s as certain as can be,
That everything that’s said by he,
Is truthful so he knows his views,
Unlike all CNN’s fake news.

He said relations were so bad,
Because of what the US had,
Been doing over many years;
But now with everyone sincere,
The Russians, since four hours ago,
We’re now his friend and not his foe.

So now that Putin is his friend,
A friendship that the rules all bend,
And Trump now trusts him, trusts him lots,
But has he really changed his spots?

Well, Trump has one reply to this:
He says that no-one ought to miss,
The fact that Putin’s tie had spots,
Though they were small and looked like dots.

So changing these spots is a cinch,
It can be done without a flinch,
And Putin simply needs to go,
And buy a new tie, straight or bow.

And then things will be quite all right,
There will be trust, no need to fight,
And few will suffer from decease,
For Putin is a man of peace.

If you believe that you are nuts,
For it is plain, no ifs, no buts,
That Trump has fallen for a trick,
Is he being naive or thick?

Image – DonkeyHotey/Flickr

TO LIKE OR NOT TO LIKE …

donald-trump-1274535_960_720

It is reported that Donald Trump has been giving conflicting messages about what he thinks of Theresa May and Brexit.

Our Donald, who’s not far from here,
Is not always completely clear,
What he means when he tweets or speaks,
Including when he gives critiques.

He doesn’t approve of the way,
That our PM, that’s Mrs May,
Is handling Brexit (go or stay),
Or at least didn’t yesterday.

He said she’s got the whole thing wrong,
But then before so very long,
(By which I really mean quite soon),
It seems he had a change of tune.

Right now, he says , she’s doing good,
Since he’s advised her so she should,
And, as he said before Blenheim,
Most anything’s OK with him.

That is not all, I could say more,
Of things like this – at least a score,
For every day he seems to say,
Something he later blows away.

The consequence of this is that,
One really knows not where he’s at,
And so one doesn’t get too bored,
His comments might be best ignored.

So there I’ll end, good as my word,
I will write no more words absurd;
There’s no doubt that he’ll speak again,
This most peculiar of men.

JEAN CLAUDE DRUNKER?

Juncker cartoon

It is reported that the President of the European Commission was unsteady on his feet as he arrived at an official NATO function yesterday and had to be supported by the French President and other heads of state to prevent him falling over, which would have been almost as embarrassing as pictures of him struggling to stand up. A spokesman said his unsteadiness was due to sciatica, (not drink) … hic.

One Luxembourger likes his wine,
The types he drinks are very fine,
So not for him the Spanish plonk –
That’s far too prone to make one honk.

But though it might not make one ill,
Too many glasses likely will,
Make one unsteady on one’s feet,
When walking down the road or street.

So people then began to talk,
About Herr Juncker’s wobbly walk,
Because, it seemed, it could be due,
To glasses drunk – more than a few.

“Why, no,” his spokesman said quite quick,
“If you think that you’re pretty thick.
Sciatica is what he’s got,
In fact he suffers quite a lot.

His problem is sciatic pain,
Which he’s got used to in the main,
And so, though hard to reconcile,
He often manages a smile.

So talk of drink is premature,
He only drinks one glass or fewer,
So if you see him with some drink,
Well, that’s Ribena, I should think.”

Image – DonkeyHotey / Flickr

WHO APPOINTS THE PM?

Jeremy Corbyn 1

It is reported that Jeremy Corbyn has criticised Donald Trump for suggesting that Boris Johnson would make a good prime minister, saying that it is none of the President’s business. He said this on the day he was protesting against Mr Trump being the US President …

“It’s Jerry here and I must say,
That protocol – are you au fait?
Dictates you should not comment on,
Prime ministers when this one’s gone.

You really should stay in your place,
To interfere is a disgrace,
So keep your own views under wraps,
Because, in any case, they’re crap.

And that’s not all I’ve got to say,
Because I have come here today,
On everybody to impress,
That presidents of the US,
Can be a choice of one or two.
But certainly should not be you!”

Image – Global Justice Now / Flickr

TRUMP ON THE WARPATH

Trump 1

It is reported that Donald Trump has berated most European members of NATO and especially the stinking rich Germans for spending too little on defence.

The Trump is over here today,
In Brussels first then a foray,
To Britain to play golf and scoff,
And also tell the PM off.

About what subject matters not,
He’ll tweet it first and then, guess what,
He’ll talk with what charm he’s imbued,
Which means he’s likely to be rude.

But back to NATO where today,
He told the others they should pay,
And not just sponge from day to day,
On spending by the USA.

For far too long they hadn’t paid,
And as he said in his tirade,
They really had to up their game,
And then pay pretty much the same
As he does in proportion to,
The value of the things they do.

But singled out for special ire,
That easily could pay much higher,
Was Germany that he did say,
Not only does it little pay ,
But in the background it bankrolls,
The Russian state and all its goals.

They do this dint of buying gas,
Which really does seem pretty crass,
For somewhere there’s a smartphone app,
With which they can turn off the tap.

So Germany and others too,
Must be quite careful what they do,
Or they might find, alack, alas,
That suddenly they’ve got no gas.

And this is Donald’s case in point,
That’s put his nose right out of joint,
For though it has been rare before,
This could start economic war.

This might then be twixt friends or foes,
Because the Brexit process shows,
That one side might use as a ploy,
The other to try to destroy,
Even though it would in that case,
Cut off its nose to spite its face!

MAY SUIT YOU!

Savile Row

It is reported that Philip May, spouse of the Prime Minister of the same name, has bought a new suit specially for his forthcoming meeting with Melania Trump, spouse of the American President of the same (but different) name.

When Donald Trump is here this week,
His entourage will be quite sleek,
Especially his lady wife,
About whom gossip can be rife.

As often happens on these trips,
While all the leaders get to grips,
And talk – because that’s why they came –
Their wives and husbands do the same.

So in this current case in point,
Since we don’t want to disappoint,
The Mr May of whom we know,
Decided that he ought to go,
And freshen up his wardrobe which,
Is easy ’cos he’s rather rich.

But, nonetheless, he’s frugal too,
So since with shoes he can make do,
And without spending too much loot,
He went to buy himself a suit.

With hat not needed ’cos it’s warm,
A suit is really quite the norm,
And so our Mr May did go,
To get his made in Savile Row.

He got it home, it fitted well,
It was the business, you could tell,
And he was happy now that he,
Could match his wardrobe up with she.

But what he hadn’t quite worked out,
Was that Trump’s wife without a doubt,
Would bring a hundred gowns to wear,
And probably a few to spare.

She was, of course, a model once,
And in huge wardrobes oft ensconced,
So even with his suit replete,
With her he might not quite compete.

But, anyway, he’s tried his best,
For spouse of leader of the West,
And verdicts when the two do meet?
For that you’ll have to read the tweet!

Image – Mike_Fleming / Flickr

CO2 WARS

Lemonade

It is reported that a severe shortage in the supply of carbon dioxide, necessary for fizzy drinks and packaging food, is being made worse by high demand caused by the nice weather and the World Cup. Suspicious eh?

You all thought CO2 was bad,
But now there’s not much to be had,
Perhaps we ought to look at why,
This gas is now in short supply.

The simple answer is, it seems,
The thing of climate changers dreams,
For all the plants that can produce,
Are, at this moment, out of use.

It seems they’ve been caught on the hop,
And with their plants now at a stop,
There isn’t much that they can do,
About supplies for those who brew.

Not only beer but fizzy drinks,
Most of them drunk by kiddywinks,
And after that is needed more,
For packaging fresh food in store.

Without the gas food may go bad,
Which would be wasteful and so sad,
And mouldy food should not be used,
For cooking or on barbecues.

But wait! There is another thing,
One into this debate might bring,
Which is that all the temps are up,
And after that there’s the World Cup,
Which means that people eat and drink,
Perhaps excessively, I think.

So could this be a Russian plot,
To raise demand when it’s so hot,
Hoping that if the beer runs out,
The football hooligans and louts,
Denied their drinks and also eats,
Will start to riot in the streets?

It’s likely we will never know,
The Kremlin is tight-lipped and so,
It likely that it will not say,
If it’s involved in any way.

So, in that case, what should we do,
When we have got no CO2?
It could be that it’s all a con,
So just keep calm and carry on.