It is reported that the British competitors in the Skeleton (sledging to you and me) event at the South Korean Winter Olympic Games are wearing specially developed suits which may reduce drag and shave a few hundredths of a second off race times. Other teams are accusing them of cheating even though the suits were fully approved by the people who approve suits.
This is the first time I have heard,
Of Skeleton, which sounds absurd,
Because the racers in this sport,
Quite clearly have got some sort,
Of muscles underneath their suits,
Which gets them quickly down the chutes.
They hit the start, they go quite fast,
All trying not to be the last;
In fact, since that would be the worst,
They mostly want to finish first.
So they push off, they have to steer,
Because the track is rather queer;
Then if their time is of the best,
It means they’ve beaten all the rest.
As well as skill, they’ve suit and hat,
And nothing very wrong with that;
But there are rules and it is plain,
They can’t dress like an aeroplane.
This means no spoilers, bits stuck on,
Which would not be sine qua non;
And fabric must, woven or knit,
Be coating-free to make the kit.
The fabric, though, can be quite rough,
As long as it is also tough,
And if it’s rough, it lowers drag –
Not bad for just a bit of rag.
The suits thus made have all been passed,
So riders can go very fast,
And if they finish not so old,
They’ll get a medal, maybe gold.
But the suitmakers have a trick,
Because they’re clever, more than thick;
They give the rider – woman, man –
A thing that’s called a laser scan.
This maps their body shape so that,
No matter they are thin or fat,
The suit can be a perfect fit,
And hug the contours, every bit.
So if they now go on to win,
With shorter times and not much spin,
It will be part down to their kit,
And suits that are a perfect fit!
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