It is reported that Donald Trump’s press spokesman reprimanded journalists for saying that the crowds at his inauguration were smaller than at Barack Obama’s, which position was well supported by photographic evidence of the occasion.
“I’ve brought you all in here today,
So everyone can hear me say,
That our crowds have by far surpassed,
Those of Obama, first and last.
Obama only had a few,
They didn’t even have to queue,
So I will tell it as it is –
Our numbers were far more than his”
“But Sir, the camera cannot lie,
No matter how hard you might try,
You cannot possibly have more,
’Cos you can see a lot of floor.”
“The floor, though, had been painted white,
So it shows up as awful bright,
And gaps between the people will,
Distort the number further still.”
“Obama also had white ground,
So you are wrong we have now found,
Whichever way you look at this,
It looks as though you take the p*ss.”
“But Trump’s folk were not fat but thin,”
The spokesman ventured with no grin,
“And just so that they could confuse,
Obama’s did umbrellas use.
As well as this we’ve checked and found,
That more folk used the underground,
So that just proves, I have to say,
Our crowds were bigger on the day.”
“We’ve seen those numbers and we’ve found,
Your numbers are the wrong way round;
Of what you’re saying here out loud,
A man called Goebbels would be proud.”
“Don’t dare insult me in that way,
Or you’ll not be allowed to stay!
You will believe me without fail,
Or else we’ll fight you tooth and nail.
For we are right and what I say,
On this or any other day,
Must not be questioned by you hacks –
They’re simply alternative facts.”
“Alternative facts! What are those?
It sounds to me in verse or prose,
That such a phrase means really lies,
Perhaps dressed up in some disguise.
And don’t think people will be fooled,
For some of them have been well-schooled,
You will not fool them every day,
And in the end they’ll make you pay!”
Image – Wikipedia