It is reported that an advertisement for National Trust property Lanhydrock House in Cornwall has been criticised – no, castigated – for showing a photograph of a Cornish cream tea with the jam on top of the cream. Meanwhile, a few miles to the east, Salisbury is still coming to terms with its Russian nerve gas attack.
The Cornish cream tea as you know,
Has cream above the jam and so,
If one is made the wrong way round,
The consequence could be profound.
This differs from the place next door,
(Which has two separate bits of shore)
Where Cornish-style would be a flop,
So here the jam is on the top.
Imagine, then, should people see,
A Cornish restaurant serving tea,
With Devon-style scones on the plate,
Which they consider second-rate.
Complaints would come in fast and thick,
Some saying that it makes them sick,
And how they are so very shocked,
Their cream tea could be so up-cocked.
You might think this a bit extreme,
Complaining ’bout a bit of cream,
While Wiltshire, slightly to the east,
Would think that this would be the least,
Of its worries while it’s still wracked,
Since it with nerve gas was attacked.
But notwithstanding this, the Trust,
Perhaps not wanting to go bust,
Has said the culprit will be caught,
And then they’re thinking that he ought,
Most probably to get the sack,
Unless his brain is back on track.
You might think this is too severe,
Would in their staff instil great fear,
But we can really not accept,
That something which is so inept,
And causing such cream tea turmoil,
Be carried out on British soil!