Monopoly 11513424364_f48b8cb877_b

It is reported that Donald Trump has refused to come to London and cut the ribbon on the new US embassy because Barack Obama sold the old one for ‘peanuts’ and he doesn’t like the ‘off location’ of the new one.

“I’m Donald Trump so hear my tweet:
Our embassy just down the street,
In the square next to that marked ‘GO’,
Was valuable, I’ll have you know.

But it was sold for peanuts and,
A new one built where it’s less grand,
In some place with a worse postcode –
It might have been the Old Kent Road.

This was a stupid thing you see,
No-one knows real estate like me,
They should have, as we all know well,
Built four houses and an hotel!”

Image – William Warby / Flickr




It is reported that Donald Trump is claiming to be ‘a genius … and a very stable genius at that’.

“I’ve told you all that I am smart,
And excellent at any art,
And so I hope you will accept,
I’m rather clever, not inept.

I was a businessman, you know,
Then went on TV with my show;
So many people watched me there,
And not just looking at my hair.

I really was the biggest star,
Was certain that I could go far,
And so I thought I’d take a pot,
And make a bid for the top slot.

Needless to say, I went and won,
A lifetime of ambition done,
But trouble not to make a fuss –
It’s just that I’m a genius.

So clever people eat your heart,
Because, although you might be smart,
However clever you may be,
You want a genius? … that’s me!”


Trump and Kim spoof

It is reported (or perhaps not) that everything has gone quiet regarding North Korea’s threat to launch missiles towards Guam in the middle of August.

Now Kim Jong Un, you will recall,
Who doesn’t want to build a wall,
Had promised to the man who does,
That he planned to create a buzz,
By firing missiles near to Guam,
But this time they would do no harm.

He got a very rude reply,
Which might have made him wonder why,
He’d made this rather hasty threat,
Which he was not prepared for yet.

So Kim appeared then on TV,
Where anyone who looked could see,
Him looking at plans for the strike –
Or could it be a lookalike?

Then having done his plan review,
It seems a deeper breath he drew,
And though he had no more to say,
His threat, for now, has gone away.

So we will have to wait and see,
What further words come forth from he;
These people can be volatile,
Or should the word be infantile?

Image – Kim Wing summialo / Wikimedia commons


Guam Ritidian_Beach

It is reported that Donald Trump has told the people of Guam to expect a tourism boom because with the North Korean missile crisis everybody has now heard of them. All news is good news, eh?

“Now welcome to our island here,
You’ll not have very much to fear;
We’ve lovely beaches, golden sand,
And our defences will withstand,
Whatever that guy with bad hair,
Might lob this way from over there.

He says he’ll aim for in the sea,
But just between him, you and me,
Do please stay inland if you would,
In case his aim is not too good.

And then he has some bigger bombs,
Which could cause pretty bad maelstroms,
And though these types have all been banned,
Just one will make sure you get tanned.

The tanning happens pretty quick,
Will work for any Tom or Dick,
And after that if you still stay,
Your sunbed can be put away.

You just won’t need it any more,
’Cos if by then we are at war,
The sunbed which your tan assists,
Most likely no longer exists.

But even if there is no war,
And the bed’s there just as before,
Your tan will be extremely deep,
So folk will know it wasn’t cheap.

So do enjoy your stay with us,
And just ignore the blinking fuss,
You will need factor ninety-five,
But only if you’re still alive!”

Image – Laura Beuregard, U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service – Pacific Regions



It is reported that North Korea has threatened to fire missiles over Japan to land in the sea near the US military bases in Guam by the middle of August and that Donald Trump has promised extreme retaliation.

Two overweight men with bad hair,
Determined to the whole world scare,
Keep making comments rather rash,
That they will each the other smash.

The young one’s done this all along,
(He lives in that place starts with ‘Pyong’)
It’s not clear why he makes his boast,
Which could end up with him as toast.

While he’s mad and perhaps insane,
I can’t see what he’s got to gain,
But threatening to attack that isle,
Is certain Donald Trump to rile.

Now Trump we know is so thin-skinned,
That he threatens that fire and wind,
Will come down on folk fat or thin,
When any person crosses him.

The misdemeanour may be slight,
But even so Trump gets uptight,
And several people have been fired,
Including ones he himself hired.

So if someone should threaten war –
A threat he hasn’t had before –
Because a war is not so nice,
You would expect he’d take advice.

But we know that is not Trump’s way,
And so he pronounced yesterday,
That fire and fury’s not enough,
So now he would get really tough;
He thought a bit and then he said,
“There would be big trouble instead.”

When asked what that meant, should folk flee?
He said, “Just wait. You’ll see. You’ll see.”
Which really means without much doubt,
He hasn’t quite yet worked it out.

So we must wait with bated breath,
To see if this fight’s to the death,
Or if his tweets show that he’s brave,
And Twitter can the planet save.


President-elect Donald J. Trump and Vice President-elect Mike Pence place a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery

It is reported that Donald Trump has started a ‘real news service’ to provide ‘real news’ rather than the ‘fake news’ that he accuses the established media of peddling. The newsreader is – you almost guessed it – his daughter-in-law.

The Trump, he doesn’t like the news,
He says he can’t express his views,
And that it does the facts distort,
In each and every news report.

But what he really means is that,
He now wants to avoid a spat,
’Cos with the number that he’s had,
It’s really looking pretty bad.

The Press in other countries may,
Be treated in a different way,
Be told what to or not to say,
But this is the old USA.

And in this place the Press is free,
Can dot the i and cross the t,
By which I mean that they can write,
Whatever they might think is right.

But Donald Trump, still undeterred,
Says he just thinks it is absurd,
That all the Press in his fair land,
Will not be guided by his hand.

So he’s set up a channel new,
Run by his daughter-in-law who,
Will likely each and every night,
Attempt to set the record right.

So we’re told what he did today,
How he has gone without his pay,
And good things like the what and why,
The stock market has gone so high.

The unemployment rate is low,
Which gave The Trump the time to go,
And give out medals to police,
For preventing people’s decease.

That was right as far as it went,
But didn’t give the full extent,
Of Trump’s activities and so,
When you’re watching with your cocoa,
With those things that have not been said,
You might think you have been misled.

And what is missed is quite plain for,
Trump’s tweeted on them all before,
But now most seem not to exist –
You’ll notice if you are not p*ssed!

No Russian scandal, healthcare’s good,
Chinese behaving as they should;
That Kim Jong Un’s friends with us all,
And it’s all just great with the wall.

So what are we to make of this,
As Trump seeks to the Press dismiss,
And fool folk with selective news,
Picked out according to his views?

In politics this isn’t new,
It’s what they always want to do,
But leaders seldom have such grip,
Except in a dictatorship.


US Thaad Missile

It is reported that North Korea (DPRK) launched its first Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) on US Independence Day.

Here in the old DPRK,
We know it’s Independence Day,
That’s not for us but the US,
And we might cause them some distress.

We fired off our ICBM,
It was this time not aimed at them,
But they can calculate like we,
That though it landed in the sea,
It’s powerful enough to reach,
The West Coast but not yet Palm Beach.

So at this time Trump need not care,
That we can nuke his club out there,
It’s really just a bit too far,
So he’ll be quite safe in the bar.

But very soon we will improve,
Then Donald Trump will have to move,
If he wants to stay out of range,
Of any future nuke exchange.

But now our leader, Kim Jong Un,
Who has these missiles just for fun,
Extends the hand of friendship to,
All others with a bad hairdo.

Of course Kim is the leading light,
But wonders if The Trump just might,
Join in now as his number two,
’Cos he has got the bad hair too.

This club’s exclusive that’s a fact,
And membership requires some tact,
But he has shown as has Kim III,
How tactful both of them can be.

They can make war, discuss all things,
Avoiding any crash landings,
But what would really be unfair,
Is mentioning the other’s hair!