JACK RUSSELL TERRIFIER

Dog 1

It is reported that 10 Downing Street has a new occupant called Dilyn with a fierce reputation.

Ten Downing Street has got a cat,
But you already knew of that,
He is called Larry, comes and goes,
Another fact everyone knows.

But from today there is a dog –
A change from just another mog –
And if you ask what type of breed,
It’s just the one the Johnsons’ need.

She’s a Jack Russell, fierce too,
Would like to sink her teeth in you,
Or maybe, too, in someone’s leg,
While other dogs just sit and beg.

The dog will likely instil fear,
In anyone who gets too near,
And so one would indeed be bold,
To not to do as one is told.

She’ll ministers in order keep,
Might nip them if they fall asleep,
And though debate might be well-meant,
She will not tolerate dissent.

But there’s another reason why,
This dog is sort of do or die,
Because it seems quite plain to me,
That after or before her tea,
She’ll have to most days walkies go,
With her new master, Boris Jo.

And since she’s fierce so she can guard,
The Premier in that regard,
So that she can now earn her keep,
As bodyguard but on the cheap!

CATS AND YET MORE CATS

larry

It is reported that The Government now has at least three cats on its payroll: Larry, Palmerston and Gladstone.

The Government now has three cats.
To chase the mice and maybe rats,
And more of them I think we’ll see,
In government publicity.

I do not mean more cats thereby,
But rather, through the camera’s eye,
Their pictures if they are not shy,
I think are set to multiply.

For people mostly like a cat –
There’s nothing very wrong with that –
And even those who this dispute,
Still find their pictures rather cute.

So feline pictures can’t go wrong,
Unless they do a poo or pong,
In which case and without delay,
They must be shown the litter tray.

The cats, as I have said, are three:
There’s Gladstone at The Treasury,
Palmerston at The FCO*

And lastly, as I’m sure you know,
There’s Larry who since way back when,
Has been the cat at Number Ten.

I s’pose he thinks he is in charge,
Has certain duties to discharge,
But whether Larry can control,
The other two cats on the whole,
Perhaps is not yet very clear,
Because they often disappear.

But anyway, we wish them well,
How long they’ll be there none can tell,
But probably, they will survive,
A few elections – four plus five?

* Foreign and Commonwealth Office

Image -Andy Thornley / Creative commons

MY LEGACY AT LAST

cricket-ball-295206_960_720

It is reported that Theresa May has posed on the steps of 10 Downing Street with the England cricket team and the Cricket World Cup trophy.

“A PM can do lots of things,
From which a legacy then springs,
The problem, though, that I then had,
Was most of what I did was bad.

My legacy would not look good,
Would not be glowing as it should,
But now a lifeline has appeared –
It’s not as bad as I had feared.

For I have learnt that England won,
The cricket – serious not fun –
And so I think that I can claim,
It’s me that likely is to blame.

It’s something no PM has done,
For decades we have never won,
And so, at last, I think that I,
On this achievement can rely.”