FAKE ACHE

tooth-2013237_960_720

It is reported that dentists and doctors have been defrauding the NHS by claiming payments for work not done and making up fake patients.

The dentist’s not your favourite place,
He pokes about inside your face,
But it does not hurt much until,
The man gets going with his drill.

“The drill! The drill!” I hear you say,
Although it’s used to treat decay,
It’s pretty nasty you’ll agree,
And then it isn’t even free.

You have to sit there, “Open wide!”
As he now thrusts the thing inside,
“This will not hurt, no not at all,
And so no pain will you befall.”

Well, that’s all trash, as you know well,
Intended just your fears to quell,
But lest you are a right old berk,
A trick like this will never work.

So now some dentists have a plan,
To do more drilling when they can,
While bending o’er the dentist’s chair,
Without the patient being there.

This may seem odd to you and me,
But patients can react with glee,
And dentists have their fortunes made,
Provided that they still get paid.

So what they do is make a list,
Of folk who mostly don’t exist,
And they pretend that they have drilled,
So the NHS can be billed.

For some time this has worked a treat,
It is, of course, a dreadful cheat,
And crooked dentists like these ought,
To be discovered and all caught.

So dentist’s everywhere watch out,
Bills must be right or thereabout;
You mustn’t try more cash to take,
By claiming patients who are fake.