SMURFRIES

Chips

It is reported that the EU is insisting that the Belgians change their recipe for making chips so as to avoid the formation of acrylamide which is bad for health.

The Belgians always fry chips twice,
Which is what makes them extra nice,
But the EU says if thus fried,
They will contain acrylamide.

They say the temperature’s too high,
They should parboil before they fry,
And if they do their chips will be,
The safest they can ever be.

Smurflanders say, “This is all rot!
To parboil’s something we will not!
We know all this ’cos we are wise,
And don’t want any soggy fries.

The Belgian method is so good,
The chips turn out just like they should,
With centres soft and crisp outside,
They are the best you’ve ever tried.”

The EU then backs off a bit,
“We really do not want to sit,
In judgement on your Belgian fries,
Or what they ought to be in size.

But health and safety’s number one,
So when your chips are being done,
Do keep below one seven five,
So there’ll be no acrylamide.

And then you ought to be all right,
Can eat your chips both day and night,
But it’s still not quite ‘All right Jack’ –
You might still have a heart attack!”

Image – Jeremy Keith / Flickr

SACRE BLEU!

SONY DSC

It is reported that McDonald’s is planning to provide cutlery in its French restaurants.

McDonald’s is a household name,
And it has risen to great fame,
By selling hamburgers and chips,
And not expecting any tips.

No tips because in every land,
You eat your burger with your hand,
And it can make a dreadful mess,
As Miliband, Ed, would confess.

But in France as a general rule,
To eat with fingers is not cool,
And McD thinks it will lose trade,
Unless there is a fork and blade.

So now across the board in France,
McDonald’s will give you the chance,
To eat there with a fork and knife,
That’s you, the kids, so too the wife.

But if you want to do beware,
’Cos of what’s on the menu there,
It’s only top-price meals apply,
And for the irons qualify.

Then when it comes don’t get upset,
Because I haven’t told you yet,
That though the knives and forks are free,
It’s likely they will plastic be!