SPOKE TOO SOON

US Missile Defence

It is reported that North Korea has fired a missile across Japanese air space which then crashed in the sea off the east coast of Japan.

It was just a few days ago,
I said our North Korean Joe,
Seemed to forget what he had said,
Perhaps when he had a sore head.

He said that it was his desire,
To several missiles prime and fire,
Across the sea to Guam, in fact,
Though this would the UN infract.

But it seems that I spoke too soon,
For on Tuesday, well before noon,
They shot one east across the sky,
Above Japan though none knows why.

The Japanese were rather cross,
Which caused Shinzo Abe, their boss,
To complain that it was not right,
To give his people such a fright.

And he spoke to his friend, The Trump,
To try to check he wouldn’t dump,
His friends now in their time of need,
As formerly had been agreed.

We don’t know what they had to say,
And, probably, neither do they,
For Donald Trump, twixt you and me,
Is not known for his clarity!

For now, then, we will have to wait,
For this is likely inchoate,
And there’ll be more news to be had,
With most of it most likely bad.

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ALL QUIET ON THE HAIRSTYLE FRONT

Trump and Kim spoof

It is reported (or perhaps not) that everything has gone quiet regarding North Korea’s threat to launch missiles towards Guam in the middle of August.

Now Kim Jong Un, you will recall,
Who doesn’t want to build a wall,
Had promised to the man who does,
That he planned to create a buzz,
By firing missiles near to Guam,
But this time they would do no harm.

He got a very rude reply,
Which might have made him wonder why,
He’d made this rather hasty threat,
Which he was not prepared for yet.

So Kim appeared then on TV,
Where anyone who looked could see,
Him looking at plans for the strike –
Or could it be a lookalike?

Then having done his plan review,
It seems a deeper breath he drew,
And though he had no more to say,
His threat, for now, has gone away.

So we will have to wait and see,
What further words come forth from he;
These people can be volatile,
Or should the word be infantile?

Image – Kim Wing summialo / Wikimedia commons

HOLIDAY BOOM!

Guam Ritidian_Beach

It is reported that Donald Trump has told the people of Guam to expect a tourism boom because with the North Korean missile crisis everybody has now heard of them. All news is good news, eh?

“Now welcome to our island here,
You’ll not have very much to fear;
We’ve lovely beaches, golden sand,
And our defences will withstand,
Whatever that guy with bad hair,
Might lob this way from over there.

He says he’ll aim for in the sea,
But just between him, you and me,
Do please stay inland if you would,
In case his aim is not too good.

And then he has some bigger bombs,
Which could cause pretty bad maelstroms,
And though these types have all been banned,
Just one will make sure you get tanned.

The tanning happens pretty quick,
Will work for any Tom or Dick,
And after that if you still stay,
Your sunbed can be put away.

You just won’t need it any more,
’Cos if by then we are at war,
The sunbed which your tan assists,
Most likely no longer exists.

But even if there is no war,
And the bed’s there just as before,
Your tan will be extremely deep,
So folk will know it wasn’t cheap.

So do enjoy your stay with us,
And just ignore the blinking fuss,
You will need factor ninety-five,
But only if you’re still alive!”

Image – Laura Beuregard, U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service – Pacific Regions

TWITTER WARS

Guam

It is reported that North Korea has threatened to fire missiles over Japan to land in the sea near the US military bases in Guam by the middle of August and that Donald Trump has promised extreme retaliation.

Two overweight men with bad hair,
Determined to the whole world scare,
Keep making comments rather rash,
That they will each the other smash.

The young one’s done this all along,
(He lives in that place starts with ‘Pyong’)
It’s not clear why he makes his boast,
Which could end up with him as toast.

While he’s mad and perhaps insane,
I can’t see what he’s got to gain,
But threatening to attack that isle,
Is certain Donald Trump to rile.

Now Trump we know is so thin-skinned,
That he threatens that fire and wind,
Will come down on folk fat or thin,
When any person crosses him.

The misdemeanour may be slight,
But even so Trump gets uptight,
And several people have been fired,
Including ones he himself hired.

So if someone should threaten war –
A threat he hasn’t had before –
Because a war is not so nice,
You would expect he’d take advice.

But we know that is not Trump’s way,
And so he pronounced yesterday,
That fire and fury’s not enough,
So now he would get really tough;
He thought a bit and then he said,
“There would be big trouble instead.”

When asked what that meant, should folk flee?
He said, “Just wait. You’ll see. You’ll see.”
Which really means without much doubt,
He hasn’t quite yet worked it out.

So we must wait with bated breath,
To see if this fight’s to the death,
Or if his tweets show that he’s brave,
And Twitter can the planet save.