COMRADE CORBYN

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It is reported that it is alleged that Jeremy Corbyn had suspicious meetings with Czechoslovak spy Jan Sarkocy in the mid 1980s.

It was alleged in last week’s Sun,
That Corbyn, J, had met someone,
Dressed in a long dark coat and hat,
And passed off as a ‘diplomat’.

But then men in such coats and hats,
Were very rarely diplomats,
Because, now known to you and I,
A person like that was a spy.

And that Jan was such, in a suit,
Is probably beyond dispute;
The job was spying which he held,
And later on he was expelled.

The code name used, it seems, was Cob,
And Sarko says his part-time job,
Was to give information so,
He could report it to Moscow.

So, thirty years on, Cob must say,
Why he met Sarko on that day,
And what his purpose was to speak,
And did this constitute a leak?

The meetings Cob does not deny,
But says he doesn’t know quite why,
Sarko is making up this lie,
About him which he does not buy.

But we’ve no explanation yet,
For why Cob and Sarkocy met;
We need to know the what and where,
So Agent Cob can clear the air.

If he does not, then there will be,
Suspicion hanging over he,
Especially should he abscond,
And then they’d have to send James Bond!

Image – AJC1 / Flickr

NUMBERS, WHAT NUMBERS?

McDonnell John

It is reported that the Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, has poo-pooed the idea that he should discuss financial figures in interviews because he has ‘iPads and advisers to deal with that sort of thing’.

“Now when our party comes to power,
We will, for sure, within the hour,
Renationalise the rail and such,
And, really, it won’t cost too much.

That is because it will all pay,
As more workers go on their way,
And since I am not under oath,
I can say we’ll see lots of growth.

So that’s a ‘one-to-one return’,
Because more people work and earn,
And with the extra tax they pay,
It’s easy to the costs defray.”

“That sounds like nonsense, now to me,
Costs will rise exponentially,
So for our listeners at a loss,
Please tell them how much this will cost.”

“To ask me that just is not right,
It’s journalism rather trite,
And, in fact, it just makes me mad,
For I’ve advisors with iPad.

So I don’t need to know the figs,
And whether they are small or big;
The only thing you need to do,
Is listen when I say to you,
That though it sounds a bit oddball,
It won’t cost anything at all!

So do believe me when I say,
Things will work really well this way,
And if they don’t then it’s just tough –
I’m old and I have had enough.”