FANCY THAT

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It is reported that the previously announced (on Twitter) meeting between Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un in Singapore has been cancelled and then – possibly – uncancelled.

This meeting was first on then off;
Perhaps someone had got a cough,
Or maybe some sort of a pain,
For now it might be on again.

One knows not whom one should believe,
Or if they might try to deceive,
But to give them what is their due,
They also might not have a clue.

The upshot is I do not know,
And nor does anyone and so,
Although the bookings have been made,
Including food and lemonade,
It really should not be assumed,
That all of it will be consumed.

This poem, I must now confess,
Is really pretty meaningless,
And so I will now end my rhyme,
So not to waste more of your time.

Before that, though, a small excuse,
Though it may be of little use,
Which is: compared to this, my verse,
The meetings likely would be worse.

SECRET FLAN

Map_korea_without_labels

It is reported that the Japanese have complained about a dessert to be served at the Korean North-South summit dinner when South Korean President Moon Jae-in meets North Korean leader Kim Jong-un. The mango mousse features a map of the Takeshima (Japanese) or Dokso (Korean) islands in the Sea of Japan (Japanese) or East Sea (Korean) whose ownership is disputed between the two countries.

A meeting which is taking place,
Twixt parts of the Korean race,
Has focussed all attention on,
The little town of Panmunjom.

This mid-Korean border town,
Unknown, but now of world renown,
Is where, for years, they’ve kept the peace,
Within a war that’s never ceased.

With guns and cannon everywhere,
Ten thousand and some more to spare,
The two Koreas meeting up,
Is an excuse to eat and sup.

So now a banquet’s been arranged,
For the two leaders, one deranged,
And that should go down well, it’s thought,
From canapés right through to port.

But it seems there has been a leak –
And it’s not soup of which I speak –
But secret codes, I have to say,
Have given all the game away.

So, if not soup, did someone blurt,
The menu details for dessert?
For in Japan they heard the news,
And very nearly launched their cruise
Missiles from submarine and barge,
The mango mousse to sabotage.

The mousse had got them in a flap,
Because thereon there was a map,
Of Korea and … well, ahem…
Bits that did not belong to them.

“Regrettable in the extreme.”
Is what, translated, the words mean,
From Foreign Office in Japan,
Referring to this mousse or flan.

“It can’t be served, they must withdraw,
It’s lucky that the map we saw;
We do not like to made a fuss,
But those islands belong to us.

If they intend to be obtuse,
And let their chefs play fast and loose,
With islands which are not their own,
Next will be Fujiyama scone.”

Koreans now seemed quite bemused,
For fruit and cream was all they’d used;
They’d caused, although not their intent,
A diplomatic incident.

How this might end we do not know,
Japan is not, as yet, their foe,
But Kim Jong-un? It looks like he,
Has polished off no less than three!

So if you make desserts take care,
Complaints can come from anywhere,
And we don’t want this mousse to be,
The start of war – that’s World War Three!

Image – Johannes Barre / Wikimedia commons

OLYMPIC CLONES?

APTOPIX Pyeongchang Olympics Short Track Speed Skating Men

It is reported that North Korea has sent hundreds of cheerleaders to the South Korean Olympic Games and they all look the same!

Olympic Games are worth a watch,
Those taking part are all top-notch;
Some countries send supporters too,
Not often many, just a few.

Except, that is, DPRK,
About which the best one can say,
Is girls supplied to catch the eye,
Don’t seem to be in short supply.

There’s hundreds of them, all in rows,
And each and every one there knows,
Just how to move and when to cheer –
That they’ve instructions is quite clear.

But look more closely and you’ll see,
Something that’s been observed by me,
Which is, while they cheer at the game,
Their faces look the very same!

How can this be? It’s very strange,
And though we do not know their names,
These girls, who are made-up and toned,
Can not all possibly be cloned.

The explanation’s hard and so,
Since they will all soon have to go,
Back to the north at end of show,
It’s likely we will never know.

NO SKELETONS IN THE OLYMPIC CUPBOARD

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It is reported that the British competitors in the Skeleton (sledging to you and me) event at the South Korean Winter Olympic Games are wearing specially developed suits which may reduce drag and shave a few hundredths of a second off race times. Other teams are accusing them of cheating even though the suits were fully approved by the people who approve suits.

This is the first time I have heard,
Of Skeleton, which sounds absurd,
Because the racers in this sport,
Quite clearly have got some sort,
Of muscles underneath their suits,
Which gets them quickly down the chutes.

They hit the start, they go quite fast,
All trying not to be the last;
In fact, since that would be the worst,
They mostly want to finish first.

So they push off, they have to steer,
Because the track is rather queer;
Then if their time is of the best,
It means they’ve beaten all the rest.

As well as skill, they’ve suit and hat,
And nothing very wrong with that;
But there are rules and it is plain,
They can’t dress like an aeroplane.

This means no spoilers, bits stuck on,
Which would not be sine qua non;
And fabric must, woven or knit,
Be coating-free to make the kit.

The fabric, though, can be quite rough,
As long as it is also tough,
And if it’s rough, it lowers drag –
Not bad for just a bit of rag.

The suits thus made have all been passed,
So riders can go very fast,
And if they finish not so old,
They’ll get a medal, maybe gold.

But the suitmakers have a trick,
Because they’re clever, more than thick;
They give the rider – woman, man –
A thing that’s called a laser scan.

This maps their body shape so that,
No matter they are thin or fat,
The suit can be a perfect fit,
And hug the contours, every bit.

So if they now go on to win,
With shorter times and not much spin,
It will be part down to their kit,
And suits that are a perfect fit!

If you like this please share it with all the Olympic enthusiasts.

EMBARRASSING OR WHAT?

Nuclear button

It is reported that Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un are continuing to trade personal insults, each with a finger on the button.

Two overweight men – that means fat –
Neither that much worth looking at,
Are trading insults day by day,
And these are some things that they say.

Trump calls Kim ‘Little Rocket Man’,
And warns Kim Jong-un that he can,
Eliminate him with great ease,
So not to stock up on the cheese.

At this Kim did not stay silent,
Said Mr Evil President,
And then called him in that regard,
A mentally deranged dotard.

And for the insult Trump had made,
Kim unleashed then a big tirade;
Said in return for his wisecrack,
The USA he would attack.

How this will pan out no-one knows,
They really might both come to blows,
But insults now are not the thing –
And they are so embarrassing!

TWITTER WARS

Guam

It is reported that North Korea has threatened to fire missiles over Japan to land in the sea near the US military bases in Guam by the middle of August and that Donald Trump has promised extreme retaliation.

Two overweight men with bad hair,
Determined to the whole world scare,
Keep making comments rather rash,
That they will each the other smash.

The young one’s done this all along,
(He lives in that place starts with ‘Pyong’)
It’s not clear why he makes his boast,
Which could end up with him as toast.

While he’s mad and perhaps insane,
I can’t see what he’s got to gain,
But threatening to attack that isle,
Is certain Donald Trump to rile.

Now Trump we know is so thin-skinned,
That he threatens that fire and wind,
Will come down on folk fat or thin,
When any person crosses him.

The misdemeanour may be slight,
But even so Trump gets uptight,
And several people have been fired,
Including ones he himself hired.

So if someone should threaten war –
A threat he hasn’t had before –
Because a war is not so nice,
You would expect he’d take advice.

But we know that is not Trump’s way,
And so he pronounced yesterday,
That fire and fury’s not enough,
So now he would get really tough;
He thought a bit and then he said,
“There would be big trouble instead.”

When asked what that meant, should folk flee?
He said, “Just wait. You’ll see. You’ll see.”
Which really means without much doubt,
He hasn’t quite yet worked it out.

So we must wait with bated breath,
To see if this fight’s to the death,
Or if his tweets show that he’s brave,
And Twitter can the planet save.