LITERAL LAUNDERING

Washing machine-2648080_960_720

It is reported that Dutch police who found €350,000 hidden inside a washing machine have arrested a man on suspicion of money laundering.

This verse is likely to be short,
Because the Dutch police have caught,
A man with lots of ready cash,
Which he in his machine did stash.

Machine? What sort? you may well ask.
To find out might be such a task.
But if they can find out forthwith,
They’ll know what they should charge him with.

In fact ’twas one for washing clothes,
And knowing it was one of those,
The police could see the charge to bring –
The one of money laundering.

So that is it, he has been caught,
Will very soon end up in court,
And he, perhaps, might now regret,
Not going to the launderette!

MOTHS

Moth larva

It is reported that moths are thriving owing to an increasing trend to wash clothes at a cool 30 degrees instead of the 55 degrees necessary to kill moth larvae.

This day and age one must be cool,
So folk won’t think one is a fool,
And this includes the clothes one wears,
Which, nowadays, can have some tears.

One also should the planet save,
So after concerts or a rave,
One really ought to wash one’s shirt,
For purpose of removing dirt.

The dirt removal therefore should,
Be cool provided it’s still good,
And leaves the shirt all fresh and clean,
With no marks where the mud has been.

With modern powders all this can,
Be done by woman, even man,
And it can now be done with ease,
At roundabout thirty degrees.

So far, so good, but wait a mo,
There is a problem here and so,
Despite all this that one might say,
The planet might get in the way.

The problem is the common moth,
Now destined to incur one’s wrath,
For after years of diet sparse,
Of polyester, maybe worse,
One’s bedroom drawers again are full,
Of cotton clothes and also wool.

The moths are happy once again,
Although for one it is a pain,
As these moth larvae which one loathes,
Are eating their way through one’s clothes.

But there is action one can take,
To on this peril put the brake,
And that’s to now turn up the heat,
So garments covering one’s feet,
(Which one would likely call a sock)
Would not give one a dreadful shock,
By being simply full of holes,
And quite unfit for walks and strolls.

For moths this might seem rather tough,
But, sorry, one has had enough;
One’s clothes one must again put first,
And let the washing do its worst.

So let your watchword be, ‘Take care’,
When you are washing things you wear;
The larvae must not stay alive,
So wash your clothes at fifty-five!