TO LIKE OR NOT TO LIKE …

donald-trump-1274535_960_720

It is reported that Donald Trump has been giving conflicting messages about what he thinks of Theresa May and Brexit.

Our Donald, who’s not far from here,
Is not always completely clear,
What he means when he tweets or speaks,
Including when he gives critiques.

He doesn’t approve of the way,
That our PM, that’s Mrs May,
Is handling Brexit (go or stay),
Or at least didn’t yesterday.

He said she’s got the whole thing wrong,
But then before so very long,
(By which I really mean quite soon),
It seems he had a change of tune.

Right now, he says , she’s doing good,
Since he’s advised her so she should,
And, as he said before Blenheim,
Most anything’s OK with him.

That is not all, I could say more,
Of things like this – at least a score,
For every day he seems to say,
Something he later blows away.

The consequence of this is that,
One really knows not where he’s at,
And so one doesn’t get too bored,
His comments might be best ignored.

So there I’ll end, good as my word,
I will write no more words absurd;
There’s no doubt that he’ll speak again,
This most peculiar of men.

BORIS’S BRIDGE AGAIN

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It is reported that Boris Johnson is still keen on a bridge across the English Channel.

We called the last ‘A Bridge Too Far’,
Conceived most likely in the bar,
While having dinner with the French –
Hence the persistent garlic stench.

But one thing Boris failed to say,
Was who he thinks for it will pay,
The billions the bridge will need,
Once other details are agreed.

He seems to think the French will pay,
With Brexit then out of the way,
But they’re masters, for good or ill,
At giving someone else the bill.

They’ll say nice things, will scrape and bow,
But these are just techniques for how,
They duck and weave most every day,
Till, in the end, they get their way.

They did it with the CAP*,
The Brexit bill as we now see,
And even the Calais Police,
Will do things to the British fleece.

So where does this leave Boris’ bridge?
Perhaps to fortune a hostage?
We probably don’t need to say,
Because no-one will ever pay.

* Common Agricultural Policy

THE INQUEST

#juniordoctorsstrike Jeremy Corbyn

It is reported that the general election has finished and the Conservatives fared badly.

At times like this is isn’t long,
Before it’s asked, ‘What did go wrong?’
And yesterday folk did ask that,
In just about five minutes flat.

The journalists all give their views,
Which get reported in the news,
And others also ask why they,
Have been let down by Mrs May.

The reason’s complex, I would say,
But principally Mrs May,
Judged that she was so far ahead,
That if to people she now said,
She’d not their winter fuel pay,
They wouldn’t have a place to stray.

Then secondly the PM feels,
That she should end their free school meals,
And finally if people find,
That they are going off their mind,
Then it is really only fair,
That they themselves should pay for care.

This upset folk so very much,
That Tories were kicked into touch,
And then to make things all the worse,
J Corbyn opened up his purse,
And set about to buy their vote,
With lots of things that we might note.

Free childcare – please ignore the cost –
The lock on pensions won’t be lost,
And if you go to uni-v,
Then your tuition will be free.

So ‘Vote for me,’ you heard him say,
And not for Tory Mrs May,
And we’ll be sure to guarantee,
That everything you want is free!

DIS-MAY

Downing St sign

It is reported that voting in the 2017 general election has ended.

I’m sitting here with glass in hand,
Not sure who will soon rule the land,
With Mr Corbyn, Mrs May,
Both hoping they have won today.

The exit poll seems to suggest,
That no party has passed the test,
But by around half two or three,
The outcome could quite different be.

It’s now just gone eleven o’clock,
And forecasts could be all to cock;
We wait results with open mouth:
Newcastle and Sunderland South.

These two are first to do the count,
And as they do the tensions mount,
Because the numbers that they quote,
Predict the outcome of the vote.

And here it comes: a Labour win,
They always do, no need for spin,
And the forecast based on this first:
It’s not clear who should fear the worst.

So ten results by now are in,
And parties are still in a spin,
’Cos though things are a bit improved,
The UKIP vote has been removed,
But spread between the other two,
And which just might the outcome skew.

As things continued through the night,
Results came in as it got light,
With votes lost to a large degree,
By UKIP and the SNP.

But while people went off to bed,
More of them turned not blue but red,
And by the morning it was plain,
That Labour made the biggest gain,
And Mrs May was badly stung,
With Parliament for certain hung.

So with this mess what can we do?
Somebody has to rule but who?
An answer now will take some time –
And quite a few bottles of wine!

ELECTION DAY!

Voting_in_Hackney

It is reported that there is a general election today. At last!

Hooray! Hooray!
Election Day!
May win, May lose,
It’s you who choose,
So get your coat,
Go out and vote,
And if tonight,
It comes out right,
Do not refrain,
From the Champagne.

Image – Alex Lee

GENERAL ELECTION

Polling Station

It is reported that there is a general election tomorrow.

Campaigning’s almost at an end,
After six weeks of earbend,
As politicians to a man*,
Try to recruit you as a fan.

Campaigning has been rather odd,
Each leader out there on his* tod,
And ministers kept far away,
For fear of what they might all say.

There’ve been exceptions – Abbott, Di. –
Descending sometimes from on high,
To say that we need more police,
And they’re just thirty quid apiece.

Their reasoning is fairly plain:
The Tories thought that they would gain,
With Mrs May out to the fore,
Attracting votes as not before.

And Labour who thought they’d no hope,
Just wanted to stick their chief dope,
In front of cameras on his own,
So when he had the whole thing blown,
They’d say it really was a shame,
But everyone knew who to blame.

And then of him they might get shot,
Replace him with some sort of bot,
And then they’d hope in prose or rhyme,
To have some better luck next time.

But half-way through things went awry,
When manifestoes one could buy,
And then it seemed that Mrs May,
Might possibly have had her day.

While Mr Corbyn, dear old soul,
Found that he did enjoy his rôle,
And as the days passed he could see,
A surge in popularity.

So as we reach election day,
With everything now back in play,
We’ll have to see who got it right –
We’ll find out on election night.

* or woman
* or her

Image – Secretlondon123

WOBBLE WEEK

Jelly cartoon

It is reported that the Conservative general election campaign wobbled on the now proposed cap on care costs, British Airways had a problem with a wobbly computer, Angela Merkel said that the support of the USA and the UK in NATO was wobbly and Shadow Foreign Secretary Diane Abbott talked about wobbles with her hairstyle and words.

We have just had a wobbly week,
With several things right up the creek,
And people getting quite upset,
Because some might their jobs lose yet.

The first in line was Mrs May,
Because she did omit to say,
That people paying for their care,
Would not need to be worried where,
The money would come from for they,
Would have a cap on what they pay.

Next up was British Airways which,
Reported a computer glitch,
They didn’t really explain why,
But think it might be power supply.

Their flights were cancelled – nearly all –
Their share price went into free-fall,
And travellers – thousands and more –
We’re sleeping on the airport floor.

Then Mrs Merkel comes on scene,
In Italy with Trump she’s been,
And she announced to some dismay,
That though she doesn’t pay her way,
On NATO she could not rely,
But would not further clarify.

And finally Ms Abbott who,
Is often changing her hairdo,
Said former comments which were vile,
Were said with a different hairstyle,
And ’cos her hair was different now,
That made it all all right somehow.

So let your watchword be ‘Take care’,
When you are speaking live on air,
Whatever you do or don’t say,
Will come to haunt you all one day!