ONE BATTLE LOST, ONE OR TWO TO GO

hamburger-1214464_960_720

It is reported that the most popular dish in France is now the hamburger; nevertheless, President Macron thinks that French can rival English as an international language.

Hamburgers can be bought en France,
They’re very popular, je pense,
They’ve overtaken sandwich (ham),
As confirmed by a histogram.

McDonald’s likely sells the most,
On bread rolls that they do not toast,
But, overall, they do sell more,
In restaurants than the fast food store.

Most French think hamburgers are cool,
And they eat, as a general rule,
One every twelve or thirteen days,
According to some new surveys.

So Macron now knows to his cost,
That battle’s well and truly lost;
It’s almost like there’s been a coup,
Of Cordon Bleu by Gordon Blue!

So his attention has now turned,
To French, a language often spurned;
He says it should be spoken far
Away like maybe Africa.

He has a start there, it is true,
For former colonies there do;
But elsewhere it is little spoke,
So Macron’s aim is just a joke.

And in most countries where they say,
Things in French, there is still dismay,
From when France, the colonial power,
Departed in its final hour,
And left them mostly in a mess,
The cause of much undue distress.

Friends might be few and far between,
For Macron and his language team;
For there’s a lesson: if you go,
Upsetting people you should know,
It can be hard to make amends,
And you might not have many friends.

Now Brexit is a case in point,
He has put noses out of joint,
And since it gets worse every day,
The friends he had might slip away.

NO BIG MACS PLEASE

Hair burger_king_vs_mcdonalds_by_javithecrack

It is reported that a school in Great Yarmouth has banned a youthful hairstyle known as the McDonalds something or other which looks roughly like a Big Mac perched on top of the head. And the great KFC chicken shortage rumbles on.

If you’re in Yarmouth and at school,
Do be aware of one new rule,
Which says hamburgers must not be,
Affixed atop the head of thee.

And you must in no way attempt,
This rule to try to circumvent,
By claiming that what you’ve got there,
Is really just a head of hair.

For even if it’s frizzy locks,
And not food coming in a box,
It still is not allowed to wear,
’Cos it looks like a burger there.

So stick to old short back and sides,
For that should really be your guide,
And if you have bought your Big Mac,
Perhaps you ought to take it back.

So let your watchword be, ‘Take care!’
When you are choosing styles of hair;
It’s better not to break the rule,
Then you won’t be expelled from school.

But if you are, don’t get depressed,
McDonald’s food is not the best,
And you can always go and see,
What there is down at KFC!

Image – javithecrack / Creative commons

FASTSO = FATSO

Sticky toffee pudding

It is reported that a recent Japanese study has found that eating quickly makes you fat and increases the likelihood of a heart attack.

People can eat at different speeds,
According, maybe, to their needs,
Like if their appetite is big,
Or if they’re just a greedy pig.

But eating quickly is not good,
The brain does not work as it should,
Because, it’s thought, it hasn’t time,
To check in prose or even rhyme,
If your eating’s over the top,
And then to tell your mouth to stop.

So eating carries on apace,
As you still try to stuff your face,
And all that food you didn’t need,
Turns into fat, result of greed.

The answer’s not to eat so fast,
Next mouthful way behind the last,
And think about each thing you eat,
So savouring the meal complete.

This way your brain is in control,
Assesses your meal as a whole,
And it will guide you as it should,
Away from sticky toffee pud!

Image – Katherine / Wikimedia commons

SACRE BLEU!

SONY DSC

It is reported that McDonald’s is planning to provide cutlery in its French restaurants.

McDonald’s is a household name,
And it has risen to great fame,
By selling hamburgers and chips,
And not expecting any tips.

No tips because in every land,
You eat your burger with your hand,
And it can make a dreadful mess,
As Miliband, Ed, would confess.

But in France as a general rule,
To eat with fingers is not cool,
And McD thinks it will lose trade,
Unless there is a fork and blade.

So now across the board in France,
McDonald’s will give you the chance,
To eat there with a fork and knife,
That’s you, the kids, so too the wife.

But if you want to do beware,
’Cos of what’s on the menu there,
It’s only top-price meals apply,
And for the irons qualify.

Then when it comes don’t get upset,
Because I haven’t told you yet,
That though the knives and forks are free,
It’s likely they will plastic be!