Hair burger_king_vs_mcdonalds_by_javithecrack

It is reported that a school in Great Yarmouth has banned a youthful hairstyle known as the McDonalds something or other which looks roughly like a Big Mac perched on top of the head. And the great KFC chicken shortage rumbles on.

If you’re in Yarmouth and at school,
Do be aware of one new rule,
Which says hamburgers must not be,
Affixed atop the head of thee.

And you must in no way attempt,
This rule to try to circumvent,
By claiming that what you’ve got there,
Is really just a head of hair.

For even if it’s frizzy locks,
And not food coming in a box,
It still is not allowed to wear,
’Cos it looks like a burger there.

So stick to old short back and sides,
For that should really be your guide,
And if you have bought your Big Mac,
Perhaps you ought to take it back.

So let your watchword be, ‘Take care!’
When you are choosing styles of hair;
It’s better not to break the rule,
Then you won’t be expelled from school.

But if you are, don’t get depressed,
McDonald’s food is not the best,
And you can always go and see,
What there is down at KFC!

Image – javithecrack / Creative commons



Sticky toffee pudding

It is reported that a recent Japanese study has found that eating quickly makes you fat and increases the likelihood of a heart attack.

People can eat at different speeds,
According, maybe, to their needs,
Like if their appetite is big,
Or if they’re just a greedy pig.

But eating quickly is not good,
The brain does not work as it should,
Because, it’s thought, it hasn’t time,
To check in prose or even rhyme,
If your eating’s over the top,
And then to tell your mouth to stop.

So eating carries on apace,
As you still try to stuff your face,
And all that food you didn’t need,
Turns into fat, result of greed.

The answer’s not to eat so fast,
Next mouthful way behind the last,
And think about each thing you eat,
So savouring the meal complete.

This way your brain is in control,
Assesses your meal as a whole,
And it will guide you as it should,
Away from sticky toffee pud!

Image – Katherine / Wikimedia commons



It is reported that McDonald’s is planning to provide cutlery in its French restaurants.

McDonald’s is a household name,
And it has risen to great fame,
By selling hamburgers and chips,
And not expecting any tips.

No tips because in every land,
You eat your burger with your hand,
And it can make a dreadful mess,
As Miliband, Ed, would confess.

But in France as a general rule,
To eat with fingers is not cool,
And McD thinks it will lose trade,
Unless there is a fork and blade.

So now across the board in France,
McDonald’s will give you the chance,
To eat there with a fork and knife,
That’s you, the kids, so too the wife.

But if you want to do beware,
’Cos of what’s on the menu there,
It’s only top-price meals apply,
And for the irons qualify.

Then when it comes don’t get upset,
Because I haven’t told you yet,
That though the knives and forks are free,
It’s likely they will plastic be!