TO LIKE OR NOT TO LIKE …

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It is reported that Donald Trump has been giving conflicting messages about what he thinks of Theresa May and Brexit.

Our Donald, who’s not far from here,
Is not always completely clear,
What he means when he tweets or speaks,
Including when he gives critiques.

He doesn’t approve of the way,
That our PM, that’s Mrs May,
Is handling Brexit (go or stay),
Or at least didn’t yesterday.

He said she’s got the whole thing wrong,
But then before so very long,
(By which I really mean quite soon),
It seems he had a change of tune.

Right now, he says , she’s doing good,
Since he’s advised her so she should,
And, as he said before Blenheim,
Most anything’s OK with him.

That is not all, I could say more,
Of things like this – at least a score,
For every day he seems to say,
Something he later blows away.

The consequence of this is that,
One really knows not where he’s at,
And so one doesn’t get too bored,
His comments might be best ignored.

So there I’ll end, good as my word,
I will write no more words absurd;
There’s no doubt that he’ll speak again,
This most peculiar of men.

JEAN CLAUDE DRUNKER?

Juncker cartoon

It is reported that the President of the European Commission was unsteady on his feet as he arrived at an official NATO function yesterday and had to be supported by the French President and other heads of state to prevent him falling over, which would have been almost as embarrassing as pictures of him struggling to stand up. A spokesman said his unsteadiness was due to sciatica, (not drink) … hic.

One Luxembourger likes his wine,
The types he drinks are very fine,
So not for him the Spanish plonk –
That’s far too prone to make one honk.

But though it might not make one ill,
Too many glasses likely will,
Make one unsteady on one’s feet,
When walking down the road or street.

So people then began to talk,
About Herr Juncker’s wobbly walk,
Because, it seemed, it could be due,
To glasses drunk – more than a few.

“Why, no,” his spokesman said quite quick,
“If you think that you’re pretty thick.
Sciatica is what he’s got,
In fact he suffers quite a lot.

His problem is sciatic pain,
Which he’s got used to in the main,
And so, though hard to reconcile,
He often manages a smile.

So talk of drink is premature,
He only drinks one glass or fewer,
So if you see him with some drink,
Well, that’s Ribena, I should think.”

Image – DonkeyHotey / Flickr

TRUMP ON THE WARPATH

Trump 1

It is reported that Donald Trump has berated most European members of NATO and especially the stinking rich Germans for spending too little on defence.

The Trump is over here today,
In Brussels first then a foray,
To Britain to play golf and scoff,
And also tell the PM off.

About what subject matters not,
He’ll tweet it first and then, guess what,
He’ll talk with what charm he’s imbued,
Which means he’s likely to be rude.

But back to NATO where today,
He told the others they should pay,
And not just sponge from day to day,
On spending by the USA.

For far too long they hadn’t paid,
And as he said in his tirade,
They really had to up their game,
And then pay pretty much the same
As he does in proportion to,
The value of the things they do.

But singled out for special ire,
That easily could pay much higher,
Was Germany that he did say,
Not only does it little pay ,
But in the background it bankrolls,
The Russian state and all its goals.

They do this dint of buying gas,
Which really does seem pretty crass,
For somewhere there’s a smartphone app,
With which they can turn off the tap.

So Germany and others too,
Must be quite careful what they do,
Or they might find, alack, alas,
That suddenly they’ve got no gas.

And this is Donald’s case in point,
That’s put his nose right out of joint,
For though it has been rare before,
This could start economic war.

This might then be twixt friends or foes,
Because the Brexit process shows,
That one side might use as a ploy,
The other to try to destroy,
Even though it would in that case,
Cut off its nose to spite its face!

WOBBLE WEEK

Jelly cartoon

It is reported that the Conservative general election campaign wobbled on the now proposed cap on care costs, British Airways had a problem with a wobbly computer, Angela Merkel said that the support of the USA and the UK in NATO was wobbly and Shadow Foreign Secretary Diane Abbott talked about wobbles with her hairstyle and words.

We have just had a wobbly week,
With several things right up the creek,
And people getting quite upset,
Because some might their jobs lose yet.

The first in line was Mrs May,
Because she did omit to say,
That people paying for their care,
Would not need to be worried where,
The money would come from for they,
Would have a cap on what they pay.

Next up was British Airways which,
Reported a computer glitch,
They didn’t really explain why,
But think it might be power supply.

Their flights were cancelled – nearly all –
Their share price went into free-fall,
And travellers – thousands and more –
We’re sleeping on the airport floor.

Then Mrs Merkel comes on scene,
In Italy with Trump she’s been,
And she announced to some dismay,
That though she doesn’t pay her way,
On NATO she could not rely,
But would not further clarify.

And finally Ms Abbott who,
Is often changing her hairdo,
Said former comments which were vile,
Were said with a different hairstyle,
And ’cos her hair was different now,
That made it all all right somehow.

So let your watchword be ‘Take care’,
When you are speaking live on air,
Whatever you do or don’t say,
Will come to haunt you all one day!

WAR GAMES

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It is reported that the German army is to increase in size to 200,000 people owing to the increased military threat from Russia and the uncertainty of Donald Trump’s position on NATO.

The German army’s set to grow,
From what size now I do not know,
But after it’s recruited men,
There’ll be two hundred thousand then.

It’s well-equipped and funded too,
Which may be no surprise to you,
But round about two years ago,
It wasn’t fit to fight a foe,
Because it’s planes and tanks in brown,
We’re pretty much all broken down.

It seems that those in charge had ceased,
To make sure all the tanks were greased,
And planes that should be in the air
We’re in a state of disrepair.

But soldiers knew just what to do –
They watch Dad’s Army – yes they do –
So when they went outside to train,
And found their guns played up again,
So that they would not meet their doom,
They used the handles from the broom.

To point and poke was quite all right,
’Cos training’s not a real fight,
And with these weapons from the maid,
They could charge like the Light Brigade.

The Russians would get all distraught,
At least that’s what the Germans thought,
But they forgot, I think I’m right,
Last time the Russians won that fight!

Image – Wikimedia commons