EMBARRASSING OR WHAT?

Nuclear button

It is reported that Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un are continuing to trade personal insults, each with a finger on the button.

Two overweight men – that means fat –
Neither that much worth looking at,
Are trading insults day by day,
And these are some things that they say.

Trump calls Kim ‘Little Rocket Man’,
And warns Kim Jong-un that he can,
Eliminate him with great ease,
So not to stock up on the cheese.

At this Kim did not stay silent,
Said Mr Evil President,
And then called him in that regard,
A mentally deranged dotard.

And for the insult Trump had made,
Kim unleashed then a big tirade;
Said in return for his wisecrack,
The USA he would attack.

How this will pan out no-one knows,
They really might both come to blows,
But insults now are not the thing –
And they are so embarrassing!

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IS IT THE HAIR?

Barbers somb scissors

It is reported that Boris Johnson has written a major article setting out views of Brexit which are different from the Prime Minister’s while Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un are still lobbing deadly threats and insults at each other.

Some days ago, our Boris J,
Decided it was time to say,
What he thought on this Brexit thing;
So as he saw it he would bring,
Some clarity of word and thought,
With p’rhaps more detail than he ought.

He’d not checked out his words that day,
With his boss – that’s Theresa May,
And so confusion was thus sown,
In case he wanted Ms May’s throne.

Confusion reigned for several days,
Some politicians in a haze,
Until someone said, “With that hair,
He likely does it for a dare.”

He’s not the only one like that:
There’s that Korean who’s too fat;
He launches rockets I’ve heard tell,
And has a strange hairdo as well.

And he is always locking horns,
With that man who himself adorns,
With dolly birds and gilded ware,
And, too, of course that head of hair.

Some people say it is glued on,
While others say it’s just a con,
But if a rocket gets too near,
The answer might at last be clear.

So could bad hair now be the link,
Which propels these three to the brink?
It’s better that we know than not,
In case all three have lost the plot.

BOLLARDS TO YOU!

Lego man

It is reported that Iver District Council in Buckinghamshire, has erected mannequin-style figures as bollards outside a school to slow down the traffic but some of the residents think they are sinister and don’t like them at all. One Irish resident doesn’t like them at all, at all. And Messrs Kim and Trump seem to be edging closer to all-out war.

In Iver, Bucks, outside a school,
The Council thought it might be cool,
To install little girls and boys,
To act as vehicle decoys.

They’re s’posed to make car drivers think,
That they might hit a kiddywink,
About to step onto the road,
And thus slow down the traffic flow.

But volunteers far and few,
And worried they might catch the flu,
They all decided there and then,
Instead to use small Lego men.

These little people, you might guess,
Have been the cause of some distress,
With older people quite afraid,
In case they should the world invade.

But others, of pragmatic mind,
Have either a petition signed,
Or else, if they had clothes to fit,
Have tried to dress them up a bit.

So there’s a policeman, fireman too,
And nurses who can tend to you,
In case the bollards twist and bend,
And you should fall and meet your end.

But now another thought occurs,
As threat of Armageddon stirs:
Despite the threat of all-out war,
And dreadful things perhaps in store,
With lipstick, paint, perhaps a wig,
The villagers could have a dig,
At Donald Trump and Mr Kim,
Whose prospects right now seem quite grim.

I don’t think this would stop a war,
It hasn’t worked like that before,
But it could possibly amuse,
Those who might be the worse for booze!

SPOKE TOO SOON

US Missile Defence

It is reported that North Korea has fired a missile across Japanese air space which then crashed in the sea off the east coast of Japan.

It was just a few days ago,
I said our North Korean Joe,
Seemed to forget what he had said,
Perhaps when he had a sore head.

He said that it was his desire,
To several missiles prime and fire,
Across the sea to Guam, in fact,
Though this would the UN infract.

But it seems that I spoke too soon,
For on Tuesday, well before noon,
They shot one east across the sky,
Above Japan though none knows why.

The Japanese were rather cross,
Which caused Shinzo Abe, their boss,
To complain that it was not right,
To give his people such a fright.

And he spoke to his friend, The Trump,
To try to check he wouldn’t dump,
His friends now in their time of need,
As formerly had been agreed.

We don’t know what they had to say,
And, probably, neither do they,
For Donald Trump, twixt you and me,
Is not known for his clarity!

For now, then, we will have to wait,
For this is likely inchoate,
And there’ll be more news to be had,
With most of it most likely bad.

ALL QUIET ON THE HAIRSTYLE FRONT

Trump and Kim spoof

It is reported (or perhaps not) that everything has gone quiet regarding North Korea’s threat to launch missiles towards Guam in the middle of August.

Now Kim Jong Un, you will recall,
Who doesn’t want to build a wall,
Had promised to the man who does,
That he planned to create a buzz,
By firing missiles near to Guam,
But this time they would do no harm.

He got a very rude reply,
Which might have made him wonder why,
He’d made this rather hasty threat,
Which he was not prepared for yet.

So Kim appeared then on TV,
Where anyone who looked could see,
Him looking at plans for the strike –
Or could it be a lookalike?

Then having done his plan review,
It seems a deeper breath he drew,
And though he had no more to say,
His threat, for now, has gone away.

So we will have to wait and see,
What further words come forth from he;
These people can be volatile,
Or should the word be infantile?

Image – Kim Wing summialo / Wikimedia commons

TWITTER WARS

Guam

It is reported that North Korea has threatened to fire missiles over Japan to land in the sea near the US military bases in Guam by the middle of August and that Donald Trump has promised extreme retaliation.

Two overweight men with bad hair,
Determined to the whole world scare,
Keep making comments rather rash,
That they will each the other smash.

The young one’s done this all along,
(He lives in that place starts with ‘Pyong’)
It’s not clear why he makes his boast,
Which could end up with him as toast.

While he’s mad and perhaps insane,
I can’t see what he’s got to gain,
But threatening to attack that isle,
Is certain Donald Trump to rile.

Now Trump we know is so thin-skinned,
That he threatens that fire and wind,
Will come down on folk fat or thin,
When any person crosses him.

The misdemeanour may be slight,
But even so Trump gets uptight,
And several people have been fired,
Including ones he himself hired.

So if someone should threaten war –
A threat he hasn’t had before –
Because a war is not so nice,
You would expect he’d take advice.

But we know that is not Trump’s way,
And so he pronounced yesterday,
That fire and fury’s not enough,
So now he would get really tough;
He thought a bit and then he said,
“There would be big trouble instead.”

When asked what that meant, should folk flee?
He said, “Just wait. You’ll see. You’ll see.”
Which really means without much doubt,
He hasn’t quite yet worked it out.

So we must wait with bated breath,
To see if this fight’s to the death,
Or if his tweets show that he’s brave,
And Twitter can the planet save.

TRUMP NEWS

President-elect Donald J. Trump and Vice President-elect Mike Pence place a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery

It is reported that Donald Trump has started a ‘real news service’ to provide ‘real news’ rather than the ‘fake news’ that he accuses the established media of peddling. The newsreader is – you almost guessed it – his daughter-in-law.

The Trump, he doesn’t like the news,
He says he can’t express his views,
And that it does the facts distort,
In each and every news report.

But what he really means is that,
He now wants to avoid a spat,
’Cos with the number that he’s had,
It’s really looking pretty bad.

The Press in other countries may,
Be treated in a different way,
Be told what to or not to say,
But this is the old USA.

And in this place the Press is free,
Can dot the i and cross the t,
By which I mean that they can write,
Whatever they might think is right.

But Donald Trump, still undeterred,
Says he just thinks it is absurd,
That all the Press in his fair land,
Will not be guided by his hand.

So he’s set up a channel new,
Run by his daughter-in-law who,
Will likely each and every night,
Attempt to set the record right.

So we’re told what he did today,
How he has gone without his pay,
And good things like the what and why,
The stock market has gone so high.

The unemployment rate is low,
Which gave The Trump the time to go,
And give out medals to police,
For preventing people’s decease.

That was right as far as it went,
But didn’t give the full extent,
Of Trump’s activities and so,
When you’re watching with your cocoa,
With those things that have not been said,
You might think you have been misled.

And what is missed is quite plain for,
Trump’s tweeted on them all before,
But now most seem not to exist –
You’ll notice if you are not p*ssed!

No Russian scandal, healthcare’s good,
Chinese behaving as they should;
That Kim Jong Un’s friends with us all,
And it’s all just great with the wall.

So what are we to make of this,
As Trump seeks to the Press dismiss,
And fool folk with selective news,
Picked out according to his views?

In politics this isn’t new,
It’s what they always want to do,
But leaders seldom have such grip,
Except in a dictatorship.