THIN SKINNED

Trump angry

It is reported that Donald Trump has said that he does not want his planned state visit to the UK to take place if there might be demonstrations or protests.

One small problem for Mrs May,
Now that she’s past election day,
Is how to deal with Donald Trump,
And whether she should try to bump,
The President off his planned tour –
The one she offered him before.

She’s other things now on her plate –
Brexit for one at any rate –
And she’d be better to be free,
Of still yet more controversy.

But Trump now waded in last night,
And said if anything might blight,
His state visit like an affray,
Then he would want to stay away.

Protests and demos are so bad,
That though he’d be in armour clad,
It might look bad on prime TV,
And his spin doctors do agree.

So since some protests likely will
Occur this should the visit kill;
Arrangements likely will be binned,
Because The Trump is so thin-skinned.

If this is so for Mrs May,
The problem might have gone away,
But she must carefully this spin,
So protesters don’t seem to win.

CLIMATE CHANGE DISASTER

earth-216834_960_720

It is reported that Donald Trump has withdrawn the United States from the Paris Climate Change Accord to the apparent horror of the rest of the world.

“Now listen well, I’m Donald Trump,
And I’m afraid we have to dump,
This Paris climate thing which we,
Signed up to but must now be free.

The whole damn thing is all a hoax,
And will result in many folks,
Losing their jobs which is so bad,
And makes both them and me so mad.

Some say the problem’s caused by coal,
And it should not now have a rôle,
In the world as it does today;
But to these people I say, “Hey!
For me that is an ask too tough,
’Cos we’ve got mountains of the stuff.

The coal is sitting there for free,
So with a bit of help from me,
We’ll get to work, will dig and blast,
And it’s just tough if you’re aghast.

And then there’s fracking – jolly good –
We would do much more if we could,
But nothing you can do or say,
Will make the fracking go away.”

But others say, “You are a fool!
What you are doing is not cool.
And when it’s too late you will find,
That you’re consigning humankind,
To an uncertain future where,
They really won’t know what to wear.

For temperatures will be extreme,
Humidity from drought to teem,
Which means the only thing of use,
Although it might now sound obtuse,
Will be a brolly I’m afraid,
Which also can be a sunshade.”

But Trump replied, “I do not care,
About the moisture in the air,
Because right now my one main goal:
To have the miners dig the coal.

But when all that is underway,
And ere the onset of Doomsday,
Your kind advice I’ll not forget,
And p’rhaps a few umbrellas get!”

 

REALLY BAD OR REALLY GOOD?

Car_tailpipe_2

It is reported that Donald Trump has told Angela Merkel that the Germans are ‘really bad’ for exporting millions of cars to the USA. Really bad. And the emissions test cheating saga rumbles on.

Now Donald Trump just loves to tweet,
They are so short he thinks they’re neat,
And are for any short confab,
Just perfect for his small vocab.

So just this week he was quite terse,
With just a few words, not in verse,
When he said Germany was bad,
Because he’d now found out it had,
Been exporting too many cars,
Some of which had three-pointed stars.

“This will not do!” he said today,
“From this point on you’ll have to pay
A higher rate of import tax,
Because we have been far too lax.”

The Germans said, “We are not fools.
To do that is against the rules.

You say that we are ‘really bad’,
Because of the success we’ve had.
But you have got it all to cock,
And this may now come as a shock:
Your folk have not misunderstood,
And think our cars are ‘really good’.

So ‘good’, not ‘bad’, you ought to say,
If you should tweet your words today,
Our cars are really quite the best,
Apart from the emissions test.”

Image – De Facto / Wikimedia commons

TRUMP MEETS HIS HOLINESS THE MOPE

Trump and Pope

It is reported that at his meeting with Pope Francis Donald Trump was all smiles but the Pope did not smile and stared at his feet. The two have clashed previously on the Mexican wall and climate change.

The President has been all smiles,
The best he’s ever looked by miles,
For when he met the Pope that day,
He looked so happy and so gay.

Pope Francis, though, looked at the floor,
’Cos maybe he’d failed to implore,
The Donald not to build his wall,
Or at least not build it so tall.

“You should build bridges there instead,”
Is what the Pope’s thought to have said,
“Inviting migrants is the key,
If you want to a Christian be.”

And then to rub it in some more,
He told him that guy called Al Gore,
Had got it right on climate change;
And after just a brief exchange,
The Pope gave Trump a paper which,
Supports the global warming pitch.

We don’t know what the Donald said,
But like as not the Pope saw red,
And since he doesn’t like to tweet,
He stood there staring at his feet.

Of his displeasure it’s a sign,
More subtle than a cat-o-nine,
Or torture as there used to be,
Back in the fifteenth century.

So Trump had better watch his step,
For this Pope Francis is the rep,
Of the Almighty here on earth,
And with the President’s large girth,
The Pope could organise a hack,
Or possibly a heart attack!

Image – DonkeyHotey / Flickr

DONALD DUCK

Donald Duck Figurine Detail

It is reported that as more Russian revelations emerge, Donald Trump is angry and frustrated about his continual bad press and is blaming his White House staff who fear they will be made scapegoats.

Now Donald’s had a dreadful week,
Bad headlines with leak after leak,
The latest of which seems to be,
Concerning Russia and that he,
Or his men had engaged in crimes,
Emailing Russians eighteen times.

Of course all this will be denied,
And scorn poured on the ones who spied,
But if the Trumps indeed did sin,
The net may soon be closing in.

Trump says the answer’s ‘No’ not ‘Yes’,
That this is simply all bad press,
And it’s his staff that are to blame,
Because they’re no good at their game.

So staff expect more heads will roll,
US, Hispanic, even Pole,
As Donald goes for counterclaim,
And looks for someone else to blame.

Then when the mud* should hit the fan,
And go which every way it can,
He will not stand to have a look –
Instead the President will Duck.

But Donald who Tweets, ‘SO UNFAIR!’,
While trying to look debonair,
Should not assume we are all thick,
’Cos in the end the mud will stick.

Although if he on every day,
Chose carefully the words to say,
He might, just might, avoid the muck –
And we could call him Donald Duck!

* An alternative spelling is available

Image – Tony Takitani / Flickr

RUSSIAN MENACE?

Putin cartoon

It is reported that Donald Trump allegedly asked James Comey, Director of the FBI, to drop the investigation into alleged links between his associates and the Russians.

This story has been on the go,
A little while now as you know,
But I’ve not been sure what to say,
Because the facts change every day.

The Russian rumours are quite old,
But then just last week we were told,
That Comey of the FBI,
Was told ’twas time to say ‘Goodbye’.

With reasons I will not you bore,
You’ve likely heard them all before,
And anyway, the reasons picked,
Seem to each other contradict.

Trump makes a statement of intent,
His gofers then try to invent,
Some rationale that sounds OK,
And then compose some words to say.

So far so good but not for long,
For very soon it all goes wrong,
As Donald on his Twitter feed,
Contradicts it all at breakneck speed.

And if that wasn’t bad enough,
There’s still more to this Russian stuff,
And it seems likely more will leak,
More frequently than once a week.

So I will soon have more to say,
It will make sense, I hope and pray,
But maybe that’s an order tall,
With Donald Trump behind it all.

TAKE THAT!

Cruise missile

It is reported that Donald Trump has launched a cruise missile attack on a Syrian airfield in response to the recent Syrian chemical attack on civilians and that the Russians were pre-warned so that they could move their aircraft out of the way to avoid unnecessary escalation.

We have now seen a show of force,
By Trump and the US Airforce,
As cruise missiles by them were sent,
To give a warning their intent.

It followed chemical attack,
Which in the end had been traced back,
To Assad’s forces and their planes,
For that’s who the CIA blames.

To stop things getting out of hand,
The place where these missiles would land,
Was worked out and the Russians told,
Before the bombing would unfold.

The Russians then could move their planes,
And Assad’s airforce do the same,
So they’d not suffer much that night,
Despite the military might.

Then while D Trump went out to dine,
The missiles, total fifty-nine,
Were sent and in a rapid burst,
Exploded and so did their worst.

So in one fell swoop with this act,
The President could show in fact,
Putin was really not his mate,
Or not his best at any rate.

But strangely the runways in fact,
Seem to have been left quite intact,
And Syrians said with a scoff,
That their planes were still taking off.

It does perhaps seem rather strange,
That since the runways were in range,
These missiles which cost quite a bit,
Not one of them the runways hit.

But maybe there might be a clue,
In the invective Moscow threw,
Back at the West on the next day,
In which it also chose to say,
They thought this might be just a blip –
Perhaps a diplomatic slip –
And after some passage of time,
They once again would get on fine.

So p’rhaps relations are unchanged,
’Twixt Putin and the man deranged,
And if there seems to be a split.
Perhaps it only looks like it.

Image – Wikimedia commons