TWITTER WARS

Guam

It is reported that North Korea has threatened to fire missiles over Japan to land in the sea near the US military bases in Guam by the middle of August and that Donald Trump has promised extreme retaliation.

Two overweight men with bad hair,
Determined to the whole world scare,
Keep making comments rather rash,
That they will each the other smash.

The young one’s done this all along,
(He lives in that place starts with ‘Pyong’)
It’s not clear why he makes his boast,
Which could end up with him as toast.

While he’s mad and perhaps insane,
I can’t see what he’s got to gain,
But threatening to attack that isle,
Is certain Donald Trump to rile.

Now Trump we know is so thin-skinned,
That he threatens that fire and wind,
Will come down on folk fat or thin,
When any person crosses him.

The misdemeanour may be slight,
But even so Trump gets uptight,
And several people have been fired,
Including ones he himself hired.

So if someone should threaten war –
A threat he hasn’t had before –
Because a war is not so nice,
You would expect he’d take advice.

But we know that is not Trump’s way,
And so he pronounced yesterday,
That fire and fury’s not enough,
So now he would get really tough;
He thought a bit and then he said,
“There would be big trouble instead.”

When asked what that meant, should folk flee?
He said, “Just wait. You’ll see. You’ll see.”
Which really means without much doubt,
He hasn’t quite yet worked it out.

So we must wait with bated breath,
To see if this fight’s to the death,
Or if his tweets show that he’s brave,
And Twitter can the planet save.

TRUMP NEWS

President-elect Donald J. Trump and Vice President-elect Mike Pence place a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery

It is reported that Donald Trump has started a ‘real news service’ to provide ‘real news’ rather than the ‘fake news’ that he accuses the established media of peddling. The newsreader is – you almost guessed it – his daughter-in-law.

The Trump, he doesn’t like the news,
He says he can’t express his views,
And that it does the facts distort,
In each and every news report.

But what he really means is that,
He now wants to avoid a spat,
’Cos with the number that he’s had,
It’s really looking pretty bad.

The Press in other countries may,
Be treated in a different way,
Be told what to or not to say,
But this is the old USA.

And in this place the Press is free,
Can dot the i and cross the t,
By which I mean that they can write,
Whatever they might think is right.

But Donald Trump, still undeterred,
Says he just thinks it is absurd,
That all the Press in his fair land,
Will not be guided by his hand.

So he’s set up a channel new,
Run by his daughter-in-law who,
Will likely each and every night,
Attempt to set the record right.

So we’re told what he did today,
How he has gone without his pay,
And good things like the what and why,
The stock market has gone so high.

The unemployment rate is low,
Which gave The Trump the time to go,
And give out medals to police,
For preventing people’s decease.

That was right as far as it went,
But didn’t give the full extent,
Of Trump’s activities and so,
When you’re watching with your cocoa,
With those things that have not been said,
You might think you have been misled.

And what is missed is quite plain for,
Trump’s tweeted on them all before,
But now most seem not to exist –
You’ll notice if you are not p*ssed!

No Russian scandal, healthcare’s good,
Chinese behaving as they should;
That Kim Jong Un’s friends with us all,
And it’s all just great with the wall.

So what are we to make of this,
As Trump seeks to the Press dismiss,
And fool folk with selective news,
Picked out according to his views?

In politics this isn’t new,
It’s what they always want to do,
But leaders seldom have such grip,
Except in a dictatorship.

YESTERDAY AGAIN!

Anthony_Scaramucci_at_SALT_Conference_2016

It is reported that after yesterday’s reported chaos in the White House, sackings are continuing, specifically the foul-mouthed Anthony Scaramucci after ten or eleven (who knows?) days as White House Communications Director, and the chaos is still ever present.

You read what I wrote yesterday,
Since then we’ve hardly moved a day,
And the foul-mouthed man from before,
Has now himself been shown the door.

It’s not clear if it’s ’cos he swore,
He probably did that before,
And anyway it is said that,
The President quite likes a spat,
Which keeps his people on their toes,
And probably exposes foes.

So when John Kelly came to be,
The Chief of Staff for Donald, he
Scaramucci no more desired,
And so the foul-mouthed one was fired.

The reason may be quite obscure,
And some are really quite unsure,
If it was for that foul-mouthed rant,
’Cos his obedience was scant,
Or ’cos by the eleventh day,
He was embroiled in such a way,
He really couldn’t give a toss,
And was more famous than his boss.

This last one was the greatest crime,
Described in prose and also rhyme,
For Donald – he’s the one in charge –
Has got an ego pretty large.

THE WHITE (MAD?) HOUSE

White House debris

It is reported yet again that the Trump White House is in complete chaos.

The White House is in such a mess,
Far far far worse than you would guess,
And it seems Trump thinks it’s OK,
To have it working in this way.

He runs the place with endless tweets,
Like music chairs with too few seats,
And if you’re criticised on line,
It might be the end of your time.

But if you’re sacked you may not know,
And it can come as quite a blow,
When you find out then from the Press,
Which will just add to your distress.

Some White House people shout and swear,
Not much diplomacy in there,
And if you do what they don’t like,
It’s likely you’ll be on your bike.

From all of this it’s very clear,
That Donald Trump has no idea,
How government’s supposed to work,
And it all makes him look a berk.

There are procedures to be used,
From which he cannot be excused,
To know what they are he should yearn,
But probably he’ll never learn.

For verses six I’ve rambled on,
About the antics of our Don;
I really don’t like to confuse,
But really all I have to use,
Is from his tweets etcetera so,
The chaos there is bound to show!

OLD BUT NOT YET SAGE?

Trump 3

It is reported that Donald Trump is seeking advice from lawyers as to whom he can grant a presidential pardon including his family and … himself.

Though Donald Trump is pretty old,
He’s really worth his weight in gold,
To satirists and those who write,
About his doings every night.

He stands accused of many things,
Including maybe Russian stings,
And usually in some despair,
He claims the whole thing isn’t fair.

But now he’s gone another step,
In his attempt at lawsuit prep,
By asking lawyers, its alleged,
If he perhaps his bets can hedge,
By pardoning some with great wealth,
Including – wait for it – himself.

This allegation is denied,
As one approach he hasn’t tried,
So we may have to wait some time,
Before it all comes out in rhyme.

If it does you’ll be first to hear,
But it does all seem pretty queer,
For if he’s guiltless as he claims,
Then why should he want in his aims,
To hold there in his hand the ace,
To pardon himself just in case.

The story has some way to run,
For him it might not be much fun,
But for the rest of us it’s swell,
For I am sure there’s more to tell.

Image – Donkey Hotey / Flickr

RUSSIAN REVELATION

Kremlin,_Moscow

It is reported that meeting took place in Trump Tower between a Russian lawyer and Donald Trump’s eldest son and son in law at which the Russians possibly providing damaging information on Hillary Clinton may have been discussed.

My headline here is pretty good,
I’ve saved it in case someone should,
Make progress with this Russian thing,
Which if it persists could well bring,
The President right to the brink,
And that’s what many people think.

His son has recently confirmed,
That he was happy when he learned,
That Russian sources could provide,
Bad things about the Clinton side,
During the presidential race,
Which might have been The Donald’s ace.

Then later on with others too,
Trump Junior went on to do,
A meeting in Trump Tower where,
His father Donald wasn’t there,
But though it seems he didn’t go,
He was there on the floor below.

You can make of this what you will,
Perhaps our Mr Trump was ill,
But he says he had no idea,
This meeting was so very near,
Or even that ’twas held at all,
As far as he can now recall.

So maybe this is the first chink,
To say there was a Russian link;
It’s likely there is more to know,
So this has got some way to go.

So watch for Revelation 2,
When I’ve more to disclose to you;
I hope to use it several times,
In later versions of these rhymes.

Image – Meghas / Wikimedia commons

DONALD CHUMP

Trump 2

It is reported that Donald Trump discussed hacking with Russian President Vladimir Putin, climate change with German Chancellor Angela Merkel and trade with Chinese President Xi Jinping at the G20 Summit in Hamburg, and made another of his speciality meaningless remarks while protesters ransacked the streets outside. (In the example below his actual reported words were: ‘We’ve had some very, very good talks. We’re going to have a talk now and obviously that will continue. We look forward to a lot of very positive things happening for Russia, for the United States and for everybody concerned.’)

It’s Hamburg this week so must be,
A meeting of the G20,
Where leaders of the world debate,
With others, some of whom they hate.

Of course The Trump is there as well,
He’s agitated one can tell,
And firstly he took Putin on,
About his alleged election
Meddling with his state cyber force,
Which Putin has denied of course.

He called for Trump to show some proof,
To show that it was not a spoof,
And afterwards the Russians claimed,
The Trump had then therein exclaimed,
That Russia was not thus involved,
And so that was the problem solved.

Next up was Merkel who complained,
That she was quite severely pained,
With Trump no longer now on board,
The Paris Climate Change Accord.

Then on to trade where Xi Jinping,
Was speaking at the day’s briefing;
Trump sat arms folded, thunder-faced,
As Xi now sought to make his case.

And finally, Trump’s special skill,
In making comments which all will,
Be meaningless, alas, when they,
Are read again in light of day.

Example follows so if you,
Don’t know what I’m alluding to,
And if some subtlety you’ve missed,
This may just help you get the gist.

Trump says, “We have had very good,
Very good talks just as we should,
And we will have more such talks now,
Which we’ll continue anyhow.

We’re looking forward to a lot,
Of good things which now Russia’s got,
And so have we and others too,
So positive for me and you.”

This is just nonsense you’ll agree,
Meaningless to the nth degree,
And childish almost every time,
But worse than that they never rhyme!

Image – Gage Skidmore / Wikimedia commons