DRAGGED KICKING AND SCREAMING INTO THE MIDDLE AGES

Vellum

It is reported that the House of Lords wants to end the age-old practice of printing Acts of Parliament on vellum and to be bang up to date by printing them on paper instead but the House of Commons disagrees and wants to continue the ancient practice.

You may not know but p’rhaps you do,
That all laws and there are a few,
Are printed not on paper but,
On vellum which is leather cut,
From calf-skin which has had a wash,
And really is extremely posh.

But now the House of Lords says, “No!
This ancient practice has to go.
Anachronism’s what we say,
So print on paper from today.”

The Commons says, “You’re thinking small,
Traditions like this suit us all;
You know that vellum doesn’t tear,
And cost is neither here nor there.”

The Lords replies,“Move with the times!
Paper is good for prose or rhymes;
To say it’s untried isn’t true,
’Cos paper’s not exactly new.

And it will show folk that we know,
What’s new in the tech. world and so,
They’ll realise, we think you find,
That we will not be left behind.”

The two houses could not agree,
So compromised to some degree,
And changed to paper, heavy gauge,
For all except the cover page.

So that’s the story, they’ve come far,
And it’s good our lawmakers are,
Emerging from the ages dark;
But listen well and my words mark,
It’s now two thousand seventeen so,
They might still have some way to go.

Image – Wikimedia commons

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